Measuring Up-A Message to the Class of 2023

Class of 2023,

As we bid you farewell, we do so with both excitement and sadness. You are truly a special class. You are kind-hearted, passionate, curious and so much more. You truly “measure up” in so many ways. And as you leave our school,  I want to share with you two blessings – blessings from the world of measuring.  

As you know, the Hebrew word for measure is mida.  Mida also means character traits for we are all truly measured by the content of our character.  And while there are countless traits and valuable midot, Chapter 5 of Avot tells us about midot and about how to be a chasid. Not the classic chaside we all picture with the garb, but a chasid, a pious person.  .  

In Mishnah 10 we read,

 אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בָּאָדָם. הָאוֹמֵר שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, זוֹ מִדָּה בֵינוֹנִית. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, זוֹ מִדַּת סְדוֹם. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, עַם הָאָרֶץ. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, חָסִיד. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, רָשָׁע: 

There are four traits in a human, and the most pious one is “mine is yours and yours is yours.”

R. Lau tells us the reason.  

 החסיד חי מתוך הרגשת חובה לבורא ‏ולעולמו.  תמיד מחפש הזדמנויות לתת להעניק ולתרום   

The pious person is always looking for ways to give, to enhance and to contribute.  You all do that each day.  Whether it is raising money for hunger, being a shoulder to cry on or showing your love for our school, you, the Class of 2023 are chasidim in this sense. Class of 2023, keep up your spirit of generosity, of giving to your friends and your community.  

In the next Mishnah, there is another articulation of the mida of chasid. 

אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בַּדֵּעוֹת. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא שְׂכָרוֹ בְהֶפְסֵדוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא הֶפְסֵדוֹ בִשְׂכָרוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, חָסִיד. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, רָשָׁע

There are 4 kinds of temperaments and hard to become angry and easy to be appeased is truly a chasid, a pious person. (5:11)

Anger, says R. Lau, puts walls between people כעסים מגביהים קיר בין בני אדם חומה שקשה להסירה. 

Not seeing the positive in each other ends up, in the end, hurting everyone. Holding onto anger actually makes the angry person suffer more.  

‏ אינו רואה את הצד הטוב היפה ואפילו המבדח שבדבר תמיד הוא סובל מעגמת נפש

So, Class of 2023, abandon negativity and keep an attitude of positivity.  Johns Hopkins expert Lisa R. Yanek and her colleagues have done extensive research on positive attitudes.  People who are more positive may be better protected against the inflammatory damage of stress. Another possibility is that hope and positivity help people make better health and life decisions and focus more on long-term goals. The research supports R. Lau’s teaching. 

Radiating a positive disposition goes far in enriching every encounter, and boy do you all have positive energy. Whether it is on trips, at lunchtime or practicing a dance, you are truly a happy bunch. Keep that mida of positivity and you will remain chasidim, pious.

The final lesson comes from an anonymous, but very wise source. “Don’t measure yourself by someone else’s ruler.” 

Class of 2023, you have been given the tools by your parents, your teachers and your community. You know their values and our mesorah and you are guided morally, socially and ethically. As you head into high school and beyond, it is up to you not to become exact copies of your role models, but to take those values and integrate them into who you are.  You are scholars, writers, artists, techies, athletes and you are all thinking Jews! You are each amazing and unique individuals.  

On the path ahead, you will certainly encounter many voices, some helpful and some not. But one thing is for sure—many of your peers will want to  tell you who to be and what to be. Yet, remember not to be measured by other people’s voices and their rules, be measured by the positive influences of your life and of the great intellectual and emotional knowledge you have —- and listen to your soul and your own voice.  

So tonight, I give you each a gift. The gift of a ruler. Use it to realize the importance of the midah of the chasid– of generosity, and of positive character. And also remember, not to be measured by other people’s rulers.  

May you be blessed with generosity, positivity and the ability to chart your own path. 

We love you and cannot wait to see the great things you will do in your next chapter.

Come and visit often. We will miss you here at school.