A New Lens on the Blog : Makor MiMakor מקור ממקור  

Tochekah: To Criticize or Be Criticized: 

An 8th Grade Conversation in Room 108

I remember once sitting in a silent classroom, with nothing but  the Tanakah sitting at the front teacher’s desk.  “The Tanakh,” the Professor said half jokingly and half seriously, “says nothing.” This exercise was to teach us that our sources and our Torah speaks to us, only when we engage with them. 
It is in that spirit that I try a new blog model called “Makor MiMakor”--the source from the source.  Every month or so, I will share a piece of Torah or a quote or article (The Makor)  that I learned with a member of the Kinneret community-- either a group of students, teachers, parents or senior citizens from our school’s inter-generational learning program (A Makor). I will then share their thoughts and reactions and conclude with a brief takeaway from that conversation.  This blog’s subject is about the mitzvah of tochekah—of giving criticism.

The Makor: Talmud  ערכין טז:  Arachin, page 16b-What’s Wrong with our Generation
תניא א"ר טרפון (תמיהני) אני אם יש בדור הזה שמקבל תוכחה ... אמר רבי אלעזר בן עזריה תמיהני אם יש בדור הזה שיודע להוכיח.
'R. Tarfon said, ‘I don’t believe that there is anyone in this generation who knows how to accept criticism.'  To which Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah replied, 'You know what I think is wrong with this generation?  No one knows how to give criticism.' (Translation from Rabbi Howard Markose)

A Makor:Wisdom from the Students in Room 102
In our weekly conversation, I asked 8th grade students if they felt it was harder to give criticism or receive it. 
Those who felt that giving it was easier said, “it’s easier to judge someone than to look at yourself.” Yet, overwhelmingly, the students found it harder to give than receive it.
Students explored the need to give criticism sensitively, which, as we explored, is a huge challenge. We spent time discussing how to criticize with sensitivity.  Because, as one student wrote, “receiving criticism isn’t too bad if you understand why you are being criticized” and if you “trust that the person is doing it to look after you.”
An Educator’s Takeaway: 
In her book, Radical Candor, Kim Scott presents a model of criticism in all of our relationships that challenges us to both “care personally” and “challenge directly.”  If we trusted that those criticizing were invested in our success, we would receive it better.  This balance is key to successful criticism that will help others and our communities improve and make Rabbis Tarfon and Elazar much happier.

The initial source and springboard question was learned from Rabbi Howard Markose whose entire Torah on this topic can be found here. 
Thank you, Morah Yali Szulanski for referring the book Radical Candor .