“I Am Not Here to Be Right”
A 14 Word Mantra from the Vulnerability Guru Guaranteed to Lead to Goodness
This one stopped me in my tracks.
On my morning walk, Brene Brown, most popularly known for her work on vulnerability, has become one of my favorite podcast companions. Her most recent “Unlocking Us” podcast discussed in an incredibly insightful way, the complex notions of shaming, accountability and humiliation.* Midway through the broadcast, she shared a mantra she often uses to focus herself on her goals when in challenging conversations:
I am here to get it right,
I am not here to be right.
In the 37 hours since I have heard this quote, I am more and more convinced that if all of us actualized this advice, our personal lives, our religious lives, our political lives or our professional lives would vastly improve.
In this time of COVID where our professional lives and the lives of our precious institutions have taken on increased challenge, every one of us has to internalize the fact that we are working for something much bigger than we are. In our Zooms, in our offices and in our conversations, we must check our egos at the door. When we let go of being right and letting other voices in, we, and our workplaces have the best chance of getting it right.
In this political time, whether it be in the race conversation or any other, we need to keep razor focus on letting go of self validation and realize that the way we have always been may not have been right. What we have said, what we have supported and what we have perpetuated may not have always been right. We must be here in this moment of our country’s life in order to get it right, not in order to be right.
And finally, in our personal lives with friends, families and partners, this mantra is critical. Whether we are parents, partners, siblings or children, so often we hold on to positions or opinions that validate long-held roles in our relationships. While sometimes those roles are there for good, too often an unhealthy dynamic is perpetuated simply in order to be right, not necessarily to get it right.
In his work Chovot HaLevavot, Rabeinu Bahya ibn Paquda points out that sometimes our senses and our hearts, lead us down the wrong path. He goes through each of the senses and points out that, in the end, our minds are there to give light to our moral compasses*. He just might have agreed that our hearts often lead us to want to be right, and not always to want to get it right. (P. 324)
So whether you put this one on your fridge, your computer, your car or your bulletin board, make sure to put it in primary focus.
Because when we let go of the natural tendency to wanting to be right and embrace getting it right, we walk with others toward a better tomorrow.
——-
*The highly recommended conversation can be found here.
*This is similar to the prefrontal cortex’s role.
A 14 Word Mantra from the Vulnerability Guru Guaranteed to Lead to Goodness
This one stopped me in my tracks.
On my morning walk, Brene Brown, most popularly known for her work on vulnerability, has become one of my favorite podcast companions. Her most recent “Unlocking Us” podcast discussed in an incredibly insightful way, the complex notions of shaming, accountability and humiliation.* Midway through the broadcast, she shared a mantra she often uses to focus herself on her goals when in challenging conversations:
I am here to get it right,
I am not here to be right.
In the 37 hours since I have heard this quote, I am more and more convinced that if all of us actualized this advice, our personal lives, our religious lives, our political lives or our professional lives would vastly improve.
In this time of COVID where our professional lives and the lives of our precious institutions have taken on increased challenge, every one of us has to internalize the fact that we are working for something much bigger than we are. In our Zooms, in our offices and in our conversations, we must check our egos at the door. When we let go of being right and letting other voices in, we, and our workplaces have the best chance of getting it right.
In this political time, whether it be in the race conversation or any other, we need to keep razor focus on letting go of self validation and realize that the way we have always been may not have been right. What we have said, what we have supported and what we have perpetuated may not have always been right. We must be here in this moment of our country’s life in order to get it right, not in order to be right.
And finally, in our personal lives with friends, families and partners, this mantra is critical. Whether we are parents, partners, siblings or children, so often we hold on to positions or opinions that validate long-held roles in our relationships. While sometimes those roles are there for good, too often an unhealthy dynamic is perpetuated simply in order to be right, not necessarily to get it right.
In his work Chovot HaLevavot, Rabeinu Bahya ibn Paquda points out that sometimes our senses and our hearts, lead us down the wrong path. He goes through each of the senses and points out that, in the end, our minds are there to give light to our moral compasses*. He just might have agreed that our hearts often lead us to want to be right, and not always to want to get it right. (P. 324)
So whether you put this one on your fridge, your computer, your car or your bulletin board, make sure to put it in primary focus.
Because when we let go of the natural tendency to wanting to be right and embrace getting it right, we walk with others toward a better tomorrow.
——-
*The highly recommended conversation can be found here.
*This is similar to the prefrontal cortex’s role.
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