Why are we all so Uncomfortable with Comfort?
Giving a Theme of the Season its Proper Due

School has arrived.  Supplies are being purchased, family routines are getting back in place and the rhythm of the year is ready to start.  And comfort is getting a bum rap in school. Yes, comfort.

Google the term “comfort zone and education” and you will get a full menu of phrases and school missions that seem to be against the concept of comfort.  From “Step out of your comfort zone,” to “Get comfortable being uncomfortable,” to “Your comfort zone is killing your success,” schools around the country, public, private, religious and secular are working hard to have students and faculty move out of the world of comfort and step firmly into a space of discomfort.

But the calendar, this time of year, says otherwise.  Every year as school begins, we find ourselves somewhere in the middle of a seven week period in the Jews year.  As opposed to the more famous counting of the Omer period, this seven week period leading to Rosh HaShana is marked by special Haftarahs called the “seven of comfort”, the Sheva DeNechameta.  This period starts after the trauma and tragedy of Tisha B’Av, working to create a sense of safety, consolation and comfort after the mourning over the Temple.

What might these seven weeks be trying to tell us about the role of comfort and how can it help us understand both its value and its potential pitfalls?

First, these Haftarahs are about God wanting us to feel safe, protected and grounded.  Most famously, we are told נַחֲמוּ נַחֲמוּ עַמִּי יֹאמַר אֱלֹקֵּֽיכֶם׃ “Comfort, comfort my nation.” (Isaiah 40:1)  R.Soloveitchik tells us that we find comfort because the destruction of Tisha B’Av could have been much worse.  While it is certainly a tragedy, “we are thankful that it was the Temple that was destroyed and not our entire people.” (p. 294) 

What the Rav is saying here is that we, as a nation, and also as individuals, take these weeks to realize that while the low moments are low, we have to give thanks for what we have.  Yes, life is not perfect, but we have so much for which we are blessed. We must put on that attitude in order to find comfort and move forward into the New Year season.

In these Haftarahs, we are also continually reminded that God is our comforter.
אָנֹכִי אָנֹכִי הוּא מְנַחֶמְכֶם מִי־אַתְּ וַתִּירְאִי מֵאֱנוֹשׁ יָמוּת וּמִבֶּן־אָדָם חָצִיר יִנָּתֵן׃  “I, I am He who comforts you! What ails you that you fear Man who must die, Mortals who fare like grass? Isaiah 51:12) 

Once again, through the prophet Isaiah, God reminds us that this is the time to take comfort -- comfort in God as the creator (Isaiah 51:13) and comfort as God as our merciful and loving parent. (49:15) While the physical Temple is gone, our deep connection to, and covenant with God is eternal.

Rav Ayael Vered, Head of Kehillat Yachdav in Petach Tikva, adds one more piece to the conversation.  In his book פָּנֶ֖יךָ אֲבַקֵּֽש, he beautifully shares the importance of comfort and its role in relation to fear and discomfort.

He points out that very often in the Torah readings of this time of year in Devarim, Moses talks about fear -- fear regarding enemies and fear of going into the land.  And, with relation to the spirit of the High Holidays, he points toward fear of change.  R. Vered tells us that the key approach to fear is not to ignore it, or to flee from it, but to engage with and deal with it in order to move forward. 

He points out that the secret to achieving this goal is truly internalizing that we are not alone. The first verse of the Psalm that we recite this time of year beginning in Elul reflects this dynamic, לְדָוִ֨ד ׀ יְ-ה-וָ֤ה ׀ אוֹרִ֣י וְ֭יִשְׁעִי מִמִּ֣י אִירָ֑א יְקֵּֽוָ֥קֵּֽ מָֽעוֹז־חַ֝יַּ֗י מִמִּ֥י אֶפְחָֽד׃  Of David. The LORD is my light and my help; whom should I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life, whom should I dread?” (27:1)

There are things in the world of which we are worried, new vistas that lead to dread and discomfort, but if we feel comfort in the warmth of the light of God, we can take risks and move forward into the unknown.

R. Vered focusses on the word   לׅׄוּלֵׅׄ֗אׅׄ expressed at the end of the chapter.  לׅׄוּלֵׅׄ֗אׅׄ is a word expressing doubt.   But לׅׄוּלֵׅׄ֗אׅׄ spelled backwards spells out, אֱלוּל, Elul.  Elul, the time of Divine comfort and strength gives us the ability to explore and engage in fear, doubt and discomfort. 

This brings us full circle.  This time of the year is the prelude to the season of change and renewal as we approach the season of Teshuva. In order to achieve transformation, each of us must step into discomfort and take risks.  But no one would take that journey without a foundation of safety and comfort. 

So, as we enter into the school year, in this season of comfort and discomfort, I favor the wording of the Bay Shore Middle School’s mission, where the goal is to create an environment to feel safe taking risks. 

This is what I think God wants to do this time of year and what we must do for our children, students, loved ones and colleagues.  We must create spaces of care and support so that we can feel and, in turn, help others feel comfort.  It is only with this framework that we can stretch ourselves to take risks that take us away from complacency and stagnation toward increased growth, knowledge, goodness and yes, increased discomfort. 

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