Swimming with Malakhi: Poolside Generational Lessons for Summer and Beyond
In Everything in its Place Oliver Sacks’ final work before his passing, the world renowned neurologist and author, opened the book with a section called “First Loves.” His first chapter in this section is called “Water Babies” which describes his lifetime passion for swimming.
And as I read it, the calendar was flipping to June. I am not sure if June ever felt like it hit so quickly, but here it is.
And while each season has its own special rhythm and signposts, the pool, the lak or the ocean and our swimming has a unique place, yes, even in halakha.
The Talmud teaches*, among other things, that a parent is obligated in brit milah, to teach Torah, to teach a trade and help find a mate for children. Some add that parents are also obligated to teach them to swim as well.
(וי"א אף להשיטו במים) Out of all of these skills, it seems that swimming is out of place. What makes swimming on par with all of these other critical moments in the life of Jewish parenting?
It seems like a simple answer--חיותיה הוא, it is necessary for his life. חיותיה הוא means that a child will not drown and life will be saved if one knows how to swim.
And while this is certainly true, swimming gives children and adults חיותיה, gives them life, in many other ways as well. There is no place where children can learn grown-up lessons and grown-ups can access their child self more than in lakes, oceans or pools.
For children, water is a wide, often scary space where the muscles of adulthood are to be worked. In her blog about swimming and summer camp**, Miriam Shwartz, writes, “I think the rabbis had a larger intent in mind when writing this (Gemara). After all, learning how to stay afloat in inhabitable, dangerous, and/or difficult conditions is what life is all about really..it indicates that we are obligated to teach our children skills that will allow them to survive independently of our help when the need arises. And I think this principle is perhaps the essential function of effective parenting.”
For children, immersion in water can be a scary moment. Teaching them that they can emerge, float and navigate in scary territory builds their resilience and confidence -- it is a moment where skills are built to live in the world of adulthood.
For adults, water can be a place of return to primal state of wonder and “ecstasy.”. As Dr. Sacks writes, “There is a total engagement in the act of swimming, in each stroke and, at the same time, the mind can float free….And then there is the wonder of buoyancy, of being suspended in..a medium that supports and embraces us.” (p.6) As Sacks says, in the water, “one can move one’s hands like propellers….one can become a submarine..investigating the physics of flow with one’s body.”
In the water, we access a child, bathtime-like awe rarely felt in our lives as adults.
We are told by the prophet Malakhi that in Messianic times Elijah will come and link the generations, as he states “he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers” (Malakhi 3:23)
וְהֵשִׁיב לֵב-אָבוֹת עַל-בָּנִים, וְלֵב בָּנִים עַל-אֲבוֹתָם
Few places fill this prophecy on earth like the beach, the lake or the pool. Maybe that is why so many family photos are filled with pictures of families by the water. It is because that is one of the singular spaces where children love to feel like grown-ups and grown-ups love to feel like children.
So this summer, when we enjoy time with our families in water, take that snapshot, for it is one of those unique spaces where generations touch and access a little slice of heaven on earth.
*Kiddushin 29a: A father is obligated to do the following for his son: to circumcise him, to redeem him if he is a first born, to teach him Torah, to find him a wife, and to teach him a trade. Others say: teaching him how to swim as well.
האב חייב בבנו למולו ולפדותו וללמדו תורה ולהשיאו אשה וללמדו אומנות וי"א אף להשיטו במים רבי
יהודה אומר כל שאינו מלמד את בנו אומנות מלמדו ליסטות ליסטות ס"ד אלא כאילו מלמדו ליסטות:
**https://www.myjewishlearning.com/the-canteen/teaching-our-children-how-to-swim/
In Everything in its Place Oliver Sacks’ final work before his passing, the world renowned neurologist and author, opened the book with a section called “First Loves.” His first chapter in this section is called “Water Babies” which describes his lifetime passion for swimming.
And as I read it, the calendar was flipping to June. I am not sure if June ever felt like it hit so quickly, but here it is.
And while each season has its own special rhythm and signposts, the pool, the lak or the ocean and our swimming has a unique place, yes, even in halakha.
The Talmud teaches*, among other things, that a parent is obligated in brit milah, to teach Torah, to teach a trade and help find a mate for children. Some add that parents are also obligated to teach them to swim as well.
(וי"א אף להשיטו במים) Out of all of these skills, it seems that swimming is out of place. What makes swimming on par with all of these other critical moments in the life of Jewish parenting?
It seems like a simple answer--חיותיה הוא, it is necessary for his life. חיותיה הוא means that a child will not drown and life will be saved if one knows how to swim.
And while this is certainly true, swimming gives children and adults חיותיה, gives them life, in many other ways as well. There is no place where children can learn grown-up lessons and grown-ups can access their child self more than in lakes, oceans or pools.
For children, water is a wide, often scary space where the muscles of adulthood are to be worked. In her blog about swimming and summer camp**, Miriam Shwartz, writes, “I think the rabbis had a larger intent in mind when writing this (Gemara). After all, learning how to stay afloat in inhabitable, dangerous, and/or difficult conditions is what life is all about really..it indicates that we are obligated to teach our children skills that will allow them to survive independently of our help when the need arises. And I think this principle is perhaps the essential function of effective parenting.”
For children, immersion in water can be a scary moment. Teaching them that they can emerge, float and navigate in scary territory builds their resilience and confidence -- it is a moment where skills are built to live in the world of adulthood.
For adults, water can be a place of return to primal state of wonder and “ecstasy.”. As Dr. Sacks writes, “There is a total engagement in the act of swimming, in each stroke and, at the same time, the mind can float free….And then there is the wonder of buoyancy, of being suspended in..a medium that supports and embraces us.” (p.6) As Sacks says, in the water, “one can move one’s hands like propellers….one can become a submarine..investigating the physics of flow with one’s body.”
In the water, we access a child, bathtime-like awe rarely felt in our lives as adults.
We are told by the prophet Malakhi that in Messianic times Elijah will come and link the generations, as he states “he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers” (Malakhi 3:23)
וְהֵשִׁיב לֵב-אָבוֹת עַל-בָּנִים, וְלֵב בָּנִים עַל-אֲבוֹתָם
Few places fill this prophecy on earth like the beach, the lake or the pool. Maybe that is why so many family photos are filled with pictures of families by the water. It is because that is one of the singular spaces where children love to feel like grown-ups and grown-ups love to feel like children.
So this summer, when we enjoy time with our families in water, take that snapshot, for it is one of those unique spaces where generations touch and access a little slice of heaven on earth.
*Kiddushin 29a: A father is obligated to do the following for his son: to circumcise him, to redeem him if he is a first born, to teach him Torah, to find him a wife, and to teach him a trade. Others say: teaching him how to swim as well.
האב חייב בבנו למולו ולפדותו וללמדו תורה ולהשיאו אשה וללמדו אומנות וי"א אף להשיטו במים רבי
יהודה אומר כל שאינו מלמד את בנו אומנות מלמדו ליסטות ליסטות ס"ד אלא כאילו מלמדו ליסטות:
**https://www.myjewishlearning.com/the-canteen/teaching-our-children-how-to-swim/
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