tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45445758540161980402024-03-21T06:18:25.121-07:00Mifrasim מפרשים : Navigating our Lives as Role Models, Educators, Parents and Jews Rabbi Aaron Frank -
Principal, Ramaz Upper SchoolAaron M. Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12044771983631438870noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-86727254647412222952024-02-27T14:08:00.000-08:002024-02-28T02:39:06.181-08:00<p> <span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; text-align: center; text-decoration-line: underline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Day 150: When the Perek Will End and Start Anew</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1f4f76d9-7fff-1b85-d380-e60a722dbe2e"><div><span><br /></span></div><div><span><br /></span></div><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">As the conflict rages on, our brothers and sisters continue to fight and be in the evil hands of our enemy. Each day is a new opportunity for us to look within ourselves, to reflect, to act, and to pray.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Since that horrific day, so many of us have recited Tehillim. And as I have been in many shuls and schools, I would say 90% of the time at 90% of the </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">minyanim</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, the deep and moving Prakim 121 and 130 have filled our lips. We look to the mountains, we cry from the depths. Prakim of eternal pain and prayer are ones that are fixed upon our lips. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">For me, and a small group of us, we have used these terrible times to challenge ourselves to expand our muscles of prayer and learn a new Perek of Tehlim each day. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The daily learning in prayer began on Day 78 where, after countless days of reciting the same chapters again and again, we expanded to learn the chapter of Tehillim that corresponded to the day of the crisis. On that day, Day 78, December 24, Perek 78, is a journey through the history of Am Yisrael and God’s accompanying of them. It is about our relationship with the Divine and concludes with the image of God as our shepherd, tending to us in the roughest of times. (78:72) </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">From that day onwards, there has been a new look at the Perek of the day. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Sometimes, the Perek has been a familiar one, with familiar chapters, words, or phrases, such as those from Hallel (113-119) or Kabbalat Shabbat (95-99) or from songs from camp (133, 137) or other </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">tefilot </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">of praise, thanks (100) or peril (120). </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Sometimes, the Perek speaks to how to navigate in a world that seems upside down (143) or speaks to the need for God's protection in the face of our enemies (140). Sometimes, it talks of our eternal connection to Israel (132) and sometimes, it asks God to help us be our best selves and seek Divine guidance (139). </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">And every time, it rings contemporary. Time and time again, the ancient words of Tehilim feel like they could have been written today (143). </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">We are coming to the end of the </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">sefer</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. On Day 150, we will no longer have a Perek to correspond with the day of this crisis. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">So what will we do? I have told people that the answer is obvious.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">We will do what Jews did all over the world on that terrible, dark, black day. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">We will do what we have done for centuries with our sacred texts. We will stand up, roll to the beginning, and start again. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">We will turn to Perek Alef and dive right back in, into the words of confusion, comfort, ethical challenge, and praise, into finding our story as part of the bigger story. We will </span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">hadran</span><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, we will return. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">We will return to the story of a people of strength, striving, seeking, gratitude, and growth. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In a word, we will start from the beginning, from Tehillim Perek Alef, and embrace the blessed triumph and tears of the ongoing story of our people, the story of Am Yisrael. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">—----------------------------------</span></p><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">*To learn more about Perek of Prayer for Our People and to get a 5 minute highlight of the daily Perek, feel free to email me at </span><a href="mailto:franka@ramaz.org" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="color: #1155cc; font-size: 10pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">franka@ramaz.org</span></a><span face="Arial, sans-serif" style="font-size: 10pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. </span></span>Aaron M. Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12044771983631438870noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-21316732548895787942024-01-31T14:33:00.000-08:002024-01-31T14:33:19.564-08:00<p> A Pre-Shema Educational Vision for Growth: A Conversation with Parents of the Ramaz Upper School</p><p><i>The text below is the address given at the welcome reception for Rabbi Aaron Frank at Ramaz six weeks after he assumed the position of Upper School Principal. </i></p><p>Good evening. </p><p>I feel so blessed to be a part of the Ramaz family and am thankful to the community—students, parents and faculty—for welcoming me so warmly. I also want to especially thank the Upper School Administration and specifically Ms. Krupka and Rabbi Schiowitz for helping my transition run so smoothly and, of course, to Mr. Cannon for his ongoing guidance and support.</p><p>I also want to thank you, the parents, and the faculty. Aside from the warm welcome, your positivity and encouragement demonstrate your investment in the success of this new chapter in the life of the Upper School, and it makes me even more proud, excited, and motivated as I assume this new role.</p><p>Each and every morning, I sit with our students and encounter incredible texts from our siddur–ones that are timeless and eternally relevant. </p><p>I would like to organize our discussion tonight on the following words that are said in the brachot before kriyat Shema where we ask from God:</p><p>אָבִֽינוּ הָאָב הָרַחֲמָן הַמְ֒רַחֵם רַחֵם עָלֵֽינוּ וְתֵן בְּלִבֵּֽנוּ לְהָבִין וּלְהַשְׂכִּיל לִשְׁמֹֽעַ לִלְמֹד וּלְ֒לַמֵּד לִשְׁמֹר וְלַעֲשׂוֹת וּלְקַיֵּם אֶת־כָּל־דִּבְרֵי תַלְמוּד תּוֹרָתֶֽךָ בְּאַהֲבָה:</p><p>Put into our hearts to understand, to listen, to learn, and to teach, to preserve, to practice, and to fulfill all the words of instruction in Your Torah with love.</p><p>This small, inspirational paragraph serves as a roadmap for successful leadership, mentorship and shared goals for the future. </p><p>וְתֵן בְּלִבֵּֽנוּ לְהָבִין וּלְהַשְׂכִּיל לִשְׁמֹֽעַ–The first goal is to put our hearts into everything we do to understand, to acknowledge, and to listen. </p><p>Here at Ramaz over the past weeks, I have been working to make this idea of lshmoa come to life.</p><p>On Freshman and Sophomore Shabaton, I spent quality time with your children, understanding their values and listening closely about their dreams. I heard about their families and what kinds of Jews they want to be and how they work to balance the different priorities in their lives. </p><p>As many of you have shared with me in your feedback for tonight, we all need to help them with that balance. That Shabbat opportunity outside the confines of the school building and regular day is very unique and I look forward to that same chance in February and March at junior and senior Shabbaton. </p><p>At any given opportunity, I work to listen to the students’ concerns and challenges. I have met with each grade at our Town Halls, met with our student government each week for lunch. We’ve discussed policies for finals, dress code, scheduling priorities, Israel advocacy and much more. Sitting around the table with our students, doing my best to stand in their shoes, and hearing their concerns is our first step in our work together. </p><p>And most importantly, I spend time in the halls whenever I can, learning your children’s names and simply “living” in their spaces to have a pulse on their lives and dreams. You are blessed to have amazing kids, and I have loved getting to know them here at school. </p><p>I have also worked to make lshmoa come to life with our faculty and staff. I have met one on one with over 20 teachers during my Open Office Hours over the past month. </p><p>There I have heard about their lives, what motivates them to come to school each day, their passions for their craft and ways we can work together to help them and our program become stronger. </p><p>I am also working to get into classrooms regularly to have my “ears on the ground,” to understand the daily rhythm of school in each department.</p><p>Additionally, our teams of Grade Deans, Department Chairs, Guidance Staff and College Guidance Staff have been essential in showing me the ropes and helping me to understand how to make Ramaz even stronger. </p><p>We have an incredibly smart, dedicated and talented staff and I would like us to recognize them. </p><p>And finally, tonight is the beginning of opportunities for me to spend time with you. We will be setting times in the coming months to have small groups of parents discuss issues with me here at school. We will, together, work on the shared goals of creating even more opportunities for your children to reach their full potential. </p><p> לִלְמֹד וּלְ֒לַמֵּד-To Learn and to Teach</p><p>We also pray that our hearts learn. In order for me to be a thoughtful, skilled, knowledgeable, accessible and collaborative leader, I continue to learn. </p><p>We are living at a time with unprecedented challenges in order to understand our children and how we can help them to succeed. As you have shared with me, you want to be assured that we know your child and care for each and every one of them. Learning is part of that process. </p><p>Books such as <i>Quiet, The Teenage Brain and Nurtureshock</i> and authors such as Dana Boyd and Parker Palmer, have influenced my thinking about how to teach and approach our children and work to bring out the best in each one of them, as well as ongoing professional development through the help of national organizations such as Prizmah, Pardes and NY State Ed Department. </p><p>Much more than all of these, is the importance of ongoing Torah learning which I try to prioritize each day. In fact, daily Torah learning has already come in handy as I, just like most of the Judaics staff, have been pulled at the last minute to teach mishmar or to run a small group learning during the Geynes Shabbaton. </p><p>All of my learning is enabling me to engage with and teach students so they can continue to thrive both academically, spiritually and emotionally. </p><p> לִשְׁמֹר -To preserve</p><p>All of us, parents and teachers alike, are tasked with showing our children the beauty and relevance of Torah, halakha, the importance of Israel, and of course, the values of bein adam l’makom and bein adam lchaveiro– religious and interpersonal obligations. </p><p>We have to model for our children the importance of the principles that we hold most dear – the principles of civil discourse, of freedom and respect that hold our country together, principles of community and Divine love and awe. These are the principles of the 85 plus year-old mission of Ramaz that hangs in each room of our school. </p><p>Holding on to these values in these trying times is not easy, and here at school we continue to work to create opportunities to educate about these issues through constant review of our current curricula in addition to special academic seminars, advocacy workshops, and group discussions. </p><p> לַעֲשׂוֹת-To do and act</p><p>Parents, your example, how you give to others, how you spend your time, what you read, and your attitude and approach is the greatest lesson your children will ever have. You are their greatest textbook of la'asot of acting. </p><p>And we are honored to be your partners in this task of doing and now, more than ever we are all being put to the test. </p><p>As the war in Israel intensifies and the challenges of antisemitism grow, I have witnessed the Hineni spirit of Ramaz, as all of you, parents, teachers and students answer the call for Israel, showing up in every way. If you attended the Annual Dinner, you saw in words and in video what our students and alumni have been accomplishing. As it says in avot. </p><p>משנה אבות א׳:י״ז</p><p>שִׁמְעוֹן בְּנוֹ אוֹמֵר לֹא הַמִּדְרָשׁ הוּא הָעִקָּר, אֶלָּא הַמַּעֲשֶׂה:</p><p>Pirkei Avot 1:17</p><p>Shimon, his son, used to say: Study is not the most important thing, but actions; </p><p><br /></p><p>וּלְקַיֵּם-To Establish</p><p>I cannot tell you how many times people have asked me “What is your vision for Ramaz going forward?” “What do you want to change about Ramaz?” </p><p>This school is the model Jewish Day School in all of America. Its brand and its mission have been strong and vibrant for over 85 years and it has truly changed the Jewish world. </p><p>The goal for all of us, as each of us is entrusted with this legacy, should be to make it kayam to continue to make it strong. We will dedicate ourselves to making the Ramaz mission come to life even stronger and more relevant for this and future generations. </p><p>This will mean that in every department and program there will be preservation, reinvention and innovation. </p><p>בְּאַהֲבָה-With Love</p><p>It is the duty of all of us to make your child feel loved. Behind the success of every child and adult is someone who was in their corner–someone who cheered them on and valued their quest to find their voice and their fulfillment. As John Maxwell said, “children don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”</p><p>I have never been more excited to work together with you, our faculty and our students. </p><p>Steven Covey said it well. In his seminal work,<i>The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People</i>, he tells us, “Seek first to understand, and then be understood.” </p><p>In order to make an impact and share a vision, it is critical to first spend time working to understand people’s needs and perspectives. </p><p>This is especially true in a school, where the lenses of all constituents – faculty, student, parents and administration need to be internalized each day in order to make decisions, both large and small. Each group’s unique input is critical for the success of the school community. </p><p>As our siddur reminds me each and every day, I need to assess, to hear, to learn, to teach, to preserve and then to establish. </p><p>And then, together, with our faculty and your children we will, with God’s help, continue to work on the shared goal of strengthening this community to reach its full sacred potential-with conviction, strength and love. </p><p>One of my favorite quotes says it well. The African proverb says, “If you want to walk fast, walk alone. But if you want to walk far, walk together.” </p><p>I look forward to many years of walking with you, together, teachers, parents and students – and walking very far. </p><p><br /></p>Aaron M. Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12044771983631438870noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-47577492289871540072023-12-13T15:42:00.000-08:002023-12-13T15:42:22.883-08:00<p style="text-align: center;"> <b>Miketz, Chanukkah and the Power of the Contrary</b></p><p>Each year as we light our menorahs and focus on Parshat Miketz, the parallel between Pharaoh's dreams and the content of Al HaNisim grabs my attention. </p><p>In our Parsha, Pharoah has a disturbing dream. Two sets of cows, seven strong, fat cows and seven thin, gaunt ones appear on the scene. And, we are told, </p><p style="text-align: center;">וַתֹּאכַ֣לְנָה הַפָּר֗וֹת רָע֤וֹת הַמַּרְאֶה֙ וְדַקֹּ֣ת הַבָּשָׂ֔ר אֵ֚ת שֶׁ֣בַע הַפָּר֔וֹת יְפֹ֥ת הַמַּרְאֶ֖ה וְהַבְּרִיאֹ֑ת </p><p style="text-align: center;">and the ugly gaunt cows ate up the seven handsome sturdy cows. (Gen. 41:4)</p><p>His second dream is similar as seven healthy ears of grain are eaten up by seven thin scorched ones.וַתִּבְלַ֙עְנָה֙ הַשִּׁבֳּלִ֣ים הַדַּקּ֔וֹת אֵ֚ת שֶׁ֣בַע הַֽשִּׁבֳּלִ֔ים הַבְּרִיא֖וֹת וְהַמְּלֵא֑וֹת (Gen. 41:7) </p><p>While Yosef teaches Pharoah that his dreams are cautionary images, the Al HaNisim echoes a similar literary theme. In this tefilah, we are told that the unexpected dynamic wins the day – the minority, the apparently weak, end up defeating the powerful foe. It reads:</p><p style="text-align: center;"> מָסַֽרְתָּ גִבּוֹרִים בְּיַד חַלָּשִׁים וְרַבִּים בְּיַד מְעַטִּים</p><p style="text-align: center;">You delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak, many into the hands of the few <span style="text-align: left;">Purim, the other rabbinically decreed chag, also reflects this theme: </span></p><p style="text-align: center;">וְנַהֲפ֣וֹךְ ה֔וּא אֲשֶׁ֨ר יִשְׁלְט֧וּ הַיְּהוּדִ֛ים הֵ֖מָּה בְּשֹׂנְאֵיהֶֽם׃</p><p style="text-align: center;">(The very day on which the enemies of the Jews had expected to get them in their power) the opposite happened, and the Jews got their enemies in their power. (Esther 9:1)</p><p>Most often we expect that nature will take its course. The fittest will survive, the natural flow will emerge, the weak will exit the stage and predictability will win the day. This is exactly why Chanukkah and Purim are so miraculous and also why Pharoah’s dream was so disturbing. </p><p>This year, I have been thinking a lot about a word that echoes this idea–the word is אַדְרַבָּה–which means, contrary, or opposite. It comes to push against the expected momentum and flip reality on its head.</p><p>Tragically אַדְרַבָּה has taken on a new meaning for me this fall. </p><p>On Nov. 10, Sgt. Maj. (res.) Yossi Hershkovitz, 44, was killed in battle in northern Gaza. Rav Yossi, as he was affectionately called, was an educator, principal and a person of incredible midot and passion for the Jewish people and Medinat Yisrael. </p><p>Rav Yossi served as the principal of the ORT Pelech High School for boys in Jerusalem and lived in the West Bank settlement of Gva’ot, in Gush Etzion.</p><p>Rav Yossi also served for a number of years on shlichut in the US where he was my son’s teacher in middle school. Rav Yossi took countless students under his wings and, with care and love, helped to shape their passion for Torah.</p><p>Rav Yossi’s father, during the shiva, spoke about how his son embodied the need to be humble and to judge all other Jews favorably no matter their level of observance or affiliation. He spoke about a famous tefila called the Aderabba and encouraged everyone to say it regularly. </p><p>This prayer was written by R Elimelech Of Lizhensk, (born 1717—died 1787), one of the founders of Ḥasidism. It reads:</p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"> תצילנו מין קינאת איש מרעהו שלא יעלה קנאת אדם עלינו ולא קנאתינו על אחרים.</p><p style="text-align: center;">אַדְרַבָּה, תֵּן בְּלִבֵּנוּ שֶׁנִרְאֶה כָּל אֶחָד מַעֲלַת חֲבֵרֵינוּ</p><p style="text-align: center;">וְלֹא חֶסְרוֹנָם</p><p style="text-align: center;">וְשֶׁנְדַבֵּר כָּל אֶחָד אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ</p><p style="text-align: center;">בַּדֶרֶךְ הַיָשָׁר</p><p style="text-align: center;">וְהָרָצוּי לְפָנֶיךָ.</p><p style="text-align: center;">וְאַל יַעֲלֶה בְּלִבֵּנוּ, שׁוּם שִּׂנְאָה</p><p style="text-align: center;">מֵאֶחָד עַל חֲבֵרוֹ חָלִילָה</p><p style="text-align: center;">וּתְחַזֵק אוֹתָנוּ בְּאַהֲבָה אֵלֶיךָ</p><p style="text-align: center;">כַּאֲשֶׁר, גָּלוּי וְיָדוּעַ, לְפָנֶיךָ.</p><p style="text-align: center;">שֶׁיְּהֵא הַכֹּל, נַחַת רוּחַ אֵלֶיךָ.</p><p style="text-align: center;">אָמֵן - כֵּן יְהִי רָצוֹן.</p><p style="text-align: center;">God, save us from our tendency to have envy of others and save us from their envy. On the contrary, grant in our hearts that each of us recognizes the fullness of our brethren, and not their deficiencies.</p><p style="text-align: center;">And that every one of us speaks with their fellow in the straight and desired way before You.</p><p style="text-align: center;">And may there not arise in our hearts any hatred between one of us and their fellow, ever.</p><p style="text-align: center;">And strengthen us in our love for You, as it is revealed and known to You.</p><p style="text-align: center;">May everything be pleasing unto Your spirit.</p><p style="text-align: center;">Amen - may it be Your will.</p><p>Making the world a better place often requires us to ask God for the strength to internalize the message of וְנַהֲפ֣וֹךְ ה֔וּא –the message of אַדְרַבָּה, to be contrary to the trends of nature and of society and look at our personal and public lives with light and positivity. </p><p>Embracing the world of aderabba will perpetuate the legacy of Rav Yossi who recognized the holiness in others and focused their energies to spread love, light and unity among our people even in the darkest of times. </p><p>Wishing everyone a Shabbat shalom and a Chanukkah of positivity, peace and light.</p><div><br /></div>Aaron M. Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12044771983631438870noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-22325039195052355222023-11-02T02:14:00.017-07:002023-11-02T02:47:45.942-07:00<p><u><i><b><span style="font-size: medium;">How We Can be Friends from Afar: </span></b></i><i><b><span style="font-size: medium;">Reflections and Aspirations from a Heartbroken Diaspora Jew</span></b></i></u></p><p>“it’s 3:23 in the morning</p><p>and I can’t sleep</p><p>because my great great grandchildren</p><p>ask me in dreams</p><p>what did you do while the earth was unraveling?”</p><p>—Hieroglyphic Stairway, by Drew Dellinger</p><p>As we watch with heartbreak from afar I feel that all of us are being awakened by our great grandchildren's questions. So many of us are thinking about who we are as diaspora Jews, and what this moment demands. </p><p>While many have written about what we need to do as a community for the different segments of Medinat Yisrael politically, religiously or materially, I have also been thinking deeply about what we can do as individuals for our personal loved ones and friends, 6000 miles away. </p><p>How can we emotionally support those whom we love whose children are on the front lines or who have suffered loss? What kind of friend can we be to those who wait anxiously for WhatsApps on the brink of tears and whose worries cause seemingly endless sleepless nights?</p><p>As our friendships are needed more than ever, I turned to both the Rambam and a most influential thinker in my life, David Whyte, for guidance on how to best be of support. </p><p>The Rambam shares his vision of friendship in his commentary on Pirkei Avot. Influenced by Aristotle’s Ethics, he talks about three types of friends. The highest form of friendship is one that leads to searching for the ultimate good together, a friendship of virtue. </p><p>This friendship, אוהב מעלה, thrives when the desire of both friends is shared and their intention is for one thing — an ultimate good. Virtue friends are needed at this most tense moment. As we share our desire to support the IDF and displaced Jews in Israel, we share the same goals and we, from afar, must work with our friends to show our commitment and uplift them. </p><p>Virtue friends share a vision to push each other and uplift one another on the mission to make the world a better place. </p><p>And while virtue friendship will help in these tough times, there is another type of friendship that is equally, if not more, important. David Whyte, poet, author, and philosopher, shares this other view of friendship. He says that, after all is said and done, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is witness. </p><p>There will be times when friends need each other but the words fail, and so witness is the key. This is because friendship, according to Whyte, is “the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of the other, to have walked with them and to have believed in them”. </p><p>We say so often these days, “there are simply no words.” Witness friendship–showing up to simply breathe with and be with the other–can fill that void. </p><p>At the end of last week’s Haftara we are told that God will be machazik yeminecha, (Isaiah 41:13) that God will hold our hand. And we, in these times, need to work to be like the Divine. </p><p>As our world is unraveling, we need to strive to hold hands with those in Israel, we need to give, to pray, to collect, and to protest. </p><p>And, at the same time, we need to be the shoulder to cry on and we need to witness.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-69900538367762300712023-09-28T07:07:00.001-07:002023-09-28T07:07:15.745-07:00<p> <span style="background-color: #f8f9fa; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; white-space-collapse: preserve;">To Shepherd and To Carry: A Closer Look at the Hoshana Hope </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-af2f36ff-7fff-5c90-769a-84422504b2ce"><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">As we close the chapter on the Yamim Noraim and begin to focus on Sukkot, it’s time to see if I actually have any sort of a green thumb as I plot and plan about how I will keep my </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">aravot </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">alive. Should I immerse them in a pitcher of water? Wrap them in wet paper towels? Store them in the fridge? All of the above? The bottom line is that the aravot, willow branches, are the most fragile of the Four Species and must be tended to carefully to remain alive throughout the chag. We need our willow branches in full strength not only to fulfill the mitzvah of taking the lulav, but also for us to optimally recite certain </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">tefilot </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">on Sukkot.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Among those prayers where healthy and vibrant </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">aravot</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> are preferred are the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Hoshanot, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">the daily Sukkot “parade” around the shul. It is during </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Hoshanot </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">that we ask God to “save us,” concluding with the famous phrase and song “Hoshea et amecha”:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">הוֹשִׁיעָה אֶת עַמֶּךָ וּבָרֵךְ אֶת נַחֲלָתֶךָ וּרְעֵם וְנַשְּׂאֵם עַד הָעוֹלָם</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Deliver and bless Your very own people;</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">tend them and sustain them forever. (Psalms 28:9)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">As I was thinking more about this prayer, I realized that the second part of it</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">orem vnasem ad ha-olam</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> ( וּרְעֵם וְנַשְּׂאֵם עַד הָעוֹלָם) is often overlooked, yet is tremendously rich both in personal meaning and in its echoing of themes from last week’s Yamim Noraim.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">וּרְעֵם-Tend them</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">We ask God to </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">urem</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, to tend to us. The image of being tended to is one that finds its way throughout the High Holidays. On Rosh Hashana, one of the traditional sounds of the shofar is the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">truah,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> a word the same root as</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> ro’eh,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> echoing the image of God as our shepherd. On Yom Kippur we tell God, at each section of Yom Kippur, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">anu tsonekha v’ata roehnu,</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> we are your flock and you are our shepherd. And on both days we compare God to a shepherd in </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Unetaneh Tokef</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. When we reflect on our lives in Tishrei, we naturally reflect on how we, as those created in God’s image, lead and are led in our lives. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">What is it about the shepherd and the flock that makes the image so perfect for our understanding of leadership? We can take lessons from David and Moshe in this area– two figures who were shepherds long before they became our most famous and trusted Jewish leaders. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">According to the Midrash, as a young shepherd, Moshe was tending to his flock when one of the sheep ran away. He raced to retrieve the sheep, found it and carried it back to the flock with care and empathy. God then realized and said, after this act of shepherding: </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">יֵשׁ לְךָ רַחֲמִים לִנְהֹג צֹאנוֹ שֶׁל בָּשָׂר וָדָם כָּךְ חַיֶּיךָ אַתָּה תִרְעֶה צֹאנִי יִשְׂרָאֵל </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“Since you tend the sheep of human beings with such overwhelming love - by your life, I swear you shall be the shepherd of My sheep, Israel.” (Shemot Rabbah 2:2)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">David was also skilled as a shepherd. We are told that long before he became king, the shepherd David had a knack of knowing just where each of his sheep needed to graze. He knew them well and knew their needs. Noticing this, God said:</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">מִי שֶׁהוּא יוֹדֵעַ לִרְעוֹת הַצֹּאן אִישׁ לְפִי כֹחוֹ, יָבֹא וְיִרְעֶה בְּעַמִּי </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“One who knows how to shepherd the flock, each according to their strength, should come and shepherd My people…” (Shemot Rabbah 2:2)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">These strengths of our ancestors are echoed in a 2004 book on the day-to-day challenges of leadership entitled </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">The Way of the Shepherd</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. In that book, the authors write that “What makes a great shepherd isn’t the staff or the rod; it is the heart. What distinguishes a gifted leader from a mediocre one is that the great leader has the heart for his or her people.” That is the Moshe model. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">They also explain that, “The people who report to you may be part of the same flock, but they desperately want to be treated as individuals… As a leader, you should know what motivates each member of your flock when he or she walks through the door in the morning.” That is the David model.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Just like Moshe guided with sensitivity, we ask God to do the same. Just like David knew the needs of each individual, we ask God to do the same.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">And, while we want God to lead us in that way, we also have that responsibility. When we recite these tefilot, it is critical for us to also remember to imitate the Divine, by leading and tending to others with empathy, care and individual attention. </span></p><br /><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">וְנַשְּׂאֵם-Carry and sustain them</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In the Melekh Elyon prayer of the Yamim Noraim, we describe God as a </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nisa</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> and </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nosei. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In order to understand this unique description, we can look to Rav Soloveitchik. In his famous work, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Before Hashem You Should Be Purified</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, the Rav discusses the difference between these two words, a subject and an object. The subject, which he calls the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nosei</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, is active. The subject is the actor, the doer, the mover. The </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nisa</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, the object, is passive. Things happen </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">to</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> the </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nisa</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">. He writes: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">“</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">In everyday activity, the creator is the subject (the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nosei</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">) and the passive party is the object (the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nisa). </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">God is the subject in the most absolute sense, the creator.” In the Sukkot tefila we want God to carry us and act. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">And, while we want God to carry us, we also, it is our responsibility to be like God. In our lives we have to be the ones to initiate, to influence and to act. The Rav continues: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> “In keeping with our creation, we are to be the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">nosei</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">, as we are in the image of God and have free will.”*</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">So this Sukkot, as we organize our lulavs, our etrogs and work to keep our </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">aravot</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"> alive and fit for prayer, let’s remember the hope—the hope that God will carry us and that God will tend to us. And, in turn, we initiate and do the challenging work of tending and leading in all of our relationships with humility, empathy and care in the year ahead. </span></p><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">--------------------</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-cb806efc-7fff-ec57-0be0-05c6aa7deb23"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 10pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> *</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">The Rav also explained that God sometimes wants us to influence God’s action. By submitting to our tefilot, God decides to be a nisa. Interestingly, in the Melekh Elyon prayer we call God by </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline;">both names</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">, the </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">nisa</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> and the </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">nosei</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">. For God, and for us, there is a time to carry and a time to be carried. In our </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;">tefilot</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline;"> on Sukkot, we are asking God to carry us. </span></span></span></div></span>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-42562418095916232492023-08-29T17:28:00.008-07:002023-11-02T02:37:28.663-07:00<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;">How My Secular Philosophy Professor Opened My Eyes to Torah: </span><span style="font-family: arial;">A Letter of Tribute and Thanks to Prof. Carl Cohen </span></p><p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">I was blessed to grow up in a home and community where Judaism was central and Jewish life was filled with joy and love. I was a committed young Jew who attended Jewish day school, but as a teen, I was also someone, who admittedly had not invested in his own spiritual and intellectual development in a serious way. In the fall of 1986, I entered the University of Michigan as a freshman. That fall changed my life forever. </span></i></p><p><i><span style="font-family: arial;">Much of the reason for that change was a course I was blessed to take with Professor Carl Cohen. His class opened up parts of me I didn't even know existed. I took every class I could with him. A knowledgeable and self -described secular Jew, he wrote my recommendations for rabbinical school and other graduate programs. He was a true friend, mentor and cheerleader. </span></i></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><i>Carl, as he wanted his students to call him, sadly passed away a few days ago. I penned this letter to him. It is hopefully, at once, a tribute to what he taught me, and a lesson in finding spiritual answers in unexpected places and important messages in challenging time</i>s.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Dear Carl,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">A number of years ago, I was at a student retreat with my high school students. The kids, lovingly, were impersonating their teachers. One twelfth grader said, “I am going to impersonate Rabbi Frank.” He stood up and began pacing with great energy and enthusiasm through the room, practically jumping up and down with passion for whatever subject he was pretending to teach. Everyone laughed; it was a great Rabbi Frank impersonation. I smiled, looked at my wife and whispered to her, “He is not only impersonating me; he is impersonating Carl Cohen.” Entering your classroom, every student knew that they would be treated to learning with a scholar who was passionate for his subject. You were so in love with ideas that you could not contain your excitement.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It’s been 37 years since I was first in your classroom as a college freshman. As you know, I went on to become a rabbi and school principal. I have been blessed with many amazing Torah teachers who have imparted to me the wisdom of the depth and breadth of our tradition. Yet, Carl, before I had a sophisticated language of Torah, it was you who taught me so many interpersonal, educational and pedagogical lessons. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"> Carl, before I ever really thought deeply about the description of God in Exodus as a God of “loving kindness” וְרַב־חֶ֥סֶד וֶאֱמֶֽת (Ex. 34:5), you opened me up to thinking about the connection between Godliness and goodness through the timeless wisdom of <a href="https://www.gotquestions.org/Euthyphro-Dilemma.html" target="_blank">Euthyphro’s Dilemma</a>. Before I really thought with sophistication about different political structures, you showed me through <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Communism-Fascism-Democracy-Theoretical-Foundations/dp/0070116091" target="_blank">your writings</a> and discussions how fascist and communist thought, while certainly potentially dangerous, could be not only attractive, but even beneficial and a possible way for society to thrive. It is a lesson we could all use now as we must work to understand the mindset of those with whom we disagree. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Finally, you showed me the grace, beauty and science of logical thought. You not only did so through the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Introduction-Logic-Irving-M-Copi/dp/1292024828" target="_blank">formal academic language of logic</a>, but you showed us how MasterMind could be an avenue for developing sophisticated logical acumen. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Your classroom was not only a place of ideas. It was a place where caring and kindness thrived. At the beginning of every class for the first two weeks of the semester, you focused intently on learning our names. You walked up to each student, looked at your roll book, and then looked intently at their face to match each name with a person. I can still see you looking down at your roll book and then looking me in the eye and saying, “Aaron Frank?” When I would nod, you would smile and say, “Good morning, Aaron.” You did this with every student, each day. Through this simple, yet impactful routine, Carl, you were practicing Imitatio Dei, imitating God (which, by the way, is another term you taught me). In the Torah, God commands Moses to count the Children of Israel in a particular way to show that each one of them had value as an individual human being. In Psalms we read that God gives each star a name, to show that each has individual value (Ps.147:4). </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Carl, you took every argument seriously. You strove to present the positives and important values of each position, even ones you detested. Before I knew that in the Talmud, Hillel would quote his opponent Shammai’s opinions before stating his own, <a href="https://torahinmotion.org/discussions-and-blogs/eiruvin-13b-following-beit-shammai">(Eruvin 13b)</a> you modeled that in your classroom.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">But at the same time, you were someone who had deeply held convictions and you were unabashed about stating them. You spoke out for justice and civil liberties, fulfilling the religious call for righteousness, צֶ֥דֶק (Deut 16:20). When your beliefs about topics such as <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3840593" target="_blank">affirmative action</a> went against the tide, you stayed strong, even at the cost of popular opinion. You did what you felt was right and did it with kindness and principle.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I will remember fondly the open door of your office, and your open ears, as we sat many times, you with your dog at your side, talking about ideas, big and small. You took everyone’s adult journey seriously and lived the idea articulated in the Talmud by R. Hanina (Taanit 7a), that we truly learn the most from our students.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Carl, you taught me so much Torah before I truly understood the Torah.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">You taught me how to live, how to learn and how to teach.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Your legendary spirit and your intellectual and ethical lessons will always live in me. They live in my office and in my classroom and in the schools in which I am blessed to work.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And of course, I will end this letter the way you ended each week of class, no matter if we were studying Marx, Machiavelli, Hegel or Hume. You would say with a smile and a wink, “Go Blue!”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">With love and eternal appreciation, </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Aaron </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">University of Michigan, LSA, RC Class of 90 </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Head of School, Kinneret Day School, Bronx, NY </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Incoming Principal, Ramaz Upper School, NY, NY</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">To learn more about Carl’s life, click </span><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3840593" style="font-family: arial;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: arial;">. All of the links in the letter are to Carl’s works. Below is a photo of the two of us in 2018 when my son and I had the honor and pleasure of visiting him at his home in Ann Arbor. I feel blessed to have had that opportunity to spend time with him and to thank him in person for the impact he had on my life. </span></p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-90905189243016976182023-07-25T05:34:00.002-07:002023-07-25T05:36:51.432-07:00<p style="text-align: center;">Why Just Siyum?: </p><p style="text-align: center;">Two R. Davids and the Primary Soul Work for the Three Weeks</p><p>“It’s not supposed to be fun.” </p><p>That’s what I used to say to my kids every year around this time, around mid-summer, when the typical fun of summer took a nosedive. No more music, dancing, or swimming. The tone in the house was different. When they complained that things were not fun anymore, my response was always the same, “It’s not supposed to be fun. That’s not what this part of the Jewish experience is about.” </p><p>And while that is true, there is still a part of us that can’t take no for an answer. Summer is supposed to be fun! So, at camps and summer programs around the world, we often see the temporary evasion of the prohibitions of the Three Weeks or the Nine Days through holding a siyum. The finishing of an entire sefer kodesh, whether it be a masechet of mishna, gemara or other holy book, allows us to celebrate and momentarily leave these restrictions behind. This is the spirit behind the latest <a href="https://twitter.com/elilebowicz/status/1681436497306632193?s=48&t=eAoNs0tFF_jWCd4pYhROAQ">J-Sketch by Eli Lebowicz</a>, which spoofs what sometimes seems like our community’s sudden commitment to frequent siyumim during this period of the year. </p><p>Rav Dovid Hofstedter in his Dorash Dovid, asks an obvious question regarding this practice. Why is it that we cannot celebrate wonderful simchas such as weddings during the Three Weeks, but we can celebrate with a party for learning Torah? If joy is to be decreased, why not postpone the joy of a siyum the same way we would postpone the joy of other occasions until after Tisha B’Av? </p><p>Rav Hofstedter answers by making a distinction between the kavod, the honor, of the Jewish people and the kavod of Torah. The 17 of Tammuz, as pointed out by the Mishnah (Taanit 4:6) was the day that Moshe witnessed the downfall of the honor of our people through their sin of the Golden Calf. After that event, we are told that Moshe, even in his intense anger at the people, still left the opportunity for connection open. He pitched a tent and opened it for the מְבַקֵּ֣שׁ יְ-ה the religious seekers who wanted to connect with God, and according to Rashi, learn Torah. Even in the worst moments of our people’s sins, the honor of Torah lived on. The glory and honor of the people was diminished, so weddings and festive occasions must not be celebrated, but the glory of the Torah continued. Therefore, Torah, its honor and joy continues.*</p><p>In thinking more about this distinction, it occurred to me that it is critical for us to keep our focus and remember what the Three Weeks are primarily about. While many emphasize the importance of focusing on eradicating sinat chinam, baseless hatred of our fellow human beings during this time, the Three Weeks, in their essence, are really not primarily about our treatment of others. They are centered on the rupture of our relationship with God.</p><p>The Mishnah makes this perfectly clear. The original moment of tragedy of Tisha B’Av was the sin of the spies, בְּתִשְׁעָה בְאָב נִגְזַר עַל אֲבוֹתֵינוּ שֶׁלֹּא יִכָּנְסוּ לָאָרֶץ . The original moment of tragedy of the 17 of Tammuz was when the tablets were smashed, בְּשִׁבְעָה עָשָׂר בְּתַמּוּז נִשְׁתַּבְּרוּ הַלּוּחוֹת.</p><p>Both of these sins were not about sins between people; they were about a lack of faith in the Divine. </p><p>According to another R. David, Rabbi David Silber, who often shares words of Torah at my minyan, these sins, sins of idolatry and of lack of faith in God regarding the promise of the Land of Israel, repeat themselves again in the Torah and throughout our history. The Jews worship Moabite gods (Bamidbar 25) long after the sin of the Golden Calf. Tribes of Am Yisrael decide against going into the land to fight (Bamidbar 32), even after the sin of the spies. Misguided worship of things instead of God and a taking for granted of the holiness of our land are manifestations of a lack of faith in God that reappear each and every generation and right up to today. This is the rupture we commemorate this time of year. </p><p>It makes sense then that we are allowed to celebrate with a siyum even during this time of year, as the key antidote for mending this rupture between us and God is learning Torah. Torah is God’s love letter to Am Yisrael; learning Torah is what increases our understanding of God and faith in the Divine. It must be present during this time of year as it is central to our reconciliation.</p><p>So while working on our struggles of Jewish unity is always important, let us remember, whether we find ourselves on vacation, at camp or at home, that the real work of this time of year is not to heal the rupture between us and our fellow humans; rather, it is in the message that we recite together that ends Eicha: our sacred task to return to God.</p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">שִׁיבֵ֨נוּ יְהֹוָ֤ה אֵלֶ֙יךָ֙ וְֽנָשׁ֔וּבָה חַדֵּ֥שׁ יָמֵ֖ינוּ כְּקֶֽדֶם׃</p><p style="text-align: center;">Take us back, O LORD, to Yourself,</p><p style="text-align: center;">And let us come back;</p><p style="text-align: center;">Renew our days as of old. </p><p style="text-align: center;">(Eicha 5:21) </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><i>*R. Hofstedter addresses the issue that learning Torah is not allowed on Tisha B’Av by noting that the reason for that is the overwhelming tragedy of that day, which includes full mourning prohibitions. Tisha B’Av does not allow emotional space for joy in Torah. It is more that joy is prohibited on Tisha B’Av, than learning itself. (Taanit 30a) Allowing some Torah to be learned proves again, that we cannot live without Torah even Tisha B’Av as Torah is the main vehicle for our religious engagement 365 days a year. </i></p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-69299400376642982262023-06-14T14:13:00.005-07:002023-06-15T03:12:49.277-07:00<p>Measuring Up-A Message to the Class of 2023</p><p>Class of 2023,</p><p>As we bid you farewell, we do so with both excitement and sadness. You are truly a special class. You are kind-hearted, passionate, curious and so much more. You truly “measure up” in so many ways. And as you leave our school, I want to share with you two blessings – blessings from the world of measuring. </p><p>As you know, the Hebrew word for measure is mida. Mida also means character traits for we are all truly measured by the content of our character. And while there are countless traits and valuable midot, Chapter 5 of Avot tells us about midot and about how to be a chasid. Not the classic chaside we all picture with the garb, but a chasid, a pious person. . </p><p>In Mishnah 10 we read,</p><p> אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בָּאָדָם. הָאוֹמֵר שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, זוֹ מִדָּה בֵינוֹנִית. וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים, זוֹ מִדַּת סְדוֹם. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, עַם הָאָרֶץ. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלְּךָ וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלָּךְ, חָסִיד. שֶׁלִּי שֶׁלִּי וְשֶׁלְּךָ שֶׁלִּי, רָשָׁע: </p><p>There are four traits in a human, and the most pious one is “mine is yours and yours is yours.”</p><p>R. Lau tells us the reason. </p><p> החסיד חי מתוך הרגשת חובה לבורא ולעולמו. תמיד מחפש הזדמנויות לתת להעניק ולתרום </p><p>The pious person is always looking for ways to give, to enhance and to contribute. You all do that each day. Whether it is raising money for hunger, being a shoulder to cry on or showing your love for our school, you, the Class of 2023 are chasidim in this sense. Class of 2023, keep up your spirit of generosity, of giving to your friends and your community. </p><p>In the next Mishnah, there is another articulation of the mida of chasid. </p><p>אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בַּדֵּעוֹת. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא שְׂכָרוֹ בְהֶפְסֵדוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, יָצָא הֶפְסֵדוֹ בִשְׂכָרוֹ. קָשֶׁה לִכְעֹס וְנוֹחַ לִרְצוֹת, חָסִיד. נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס וְקָשֶׁה לִרְצוֹת, רָשָׁע</p><p>There are 4 kinds of temperaments and hard to become angry and easy to be appeased is truly a chasid, a pious person. (5:11)</p><p>Anger, says R. Lau, puts walls between people כעסים מגביהים קיר בין בני אדם חומה שקשה להסירה. </p><p>Not seeing the positive in each other ends up, in the end, hurting everyone. Holding onto anger actually makes the angry person suffer more. </p><p> אינו רואה את הצד הטוב היפה ואפילו המבדח שבדבר תמיד הוא סובל מעגמת נפש</p><p>So, Class of 2023, abandon negativity and keep an attitude of positivity. Johns Hopkins expert Lisa R. Yanek and her colleagues have done extensive research on positive attitudes. People who are more positive may be better protected against the inflammatory damage of stress. Another possibility is that hope and positivity help people make better health and life decisions and focus more on long-term goals. The research supports R. Lau’s teaching. </p><p>Radiating a positive disposition goes far in enriching every encounter, and boy do you all have positive energy. Whether it is on trips, at lunchtime or practicing a dance, you are truly a happy bunch. Keep that mida of positivity and you will remain chasidim, pious.</p><p>The final lesson comes from an anonymous, but very wise source. “Don’t measure yourself by someone else’s ruler.” </p><p>Class of 2023, you have been given the tools by your parents, your teachers and your community. You know their values and our mesorah and you are guided morally, socially and ethically. As you head into high school and beyond, it is up to you not to become exact copies of your role models, but to take those values and integrate them into who you are. You are scholars, writers, artists, techies, athletes and you are all thinking Jews! You are each amazing and unique individuals. </p><p>On the path ahead, you will certainly encounter many voices, some helpful and some not. But one thing is for sure—many of your peers will want to tell you who to be and what to be. Yet, remember not to be measured by other people’s voices and their rules, be measured by the positive influences of your life and of the great intellectual and emotional knowledge you have —- and listen to your soul and your own voice. </p><p>So tonight, I give you each a gift. The gift of a ruler. Use it to realize the importance of the midah of the chasid– of generosity, and of positive character. And also remember, not to be measured by other people’s rulers. </p><p>May you be blessed with generosity, positivity and the ability to chart your own path. </p><p>We love you and cannot wait to see the great things you will do in your next chapter.</p><p>Come and visit often. We will miss you here at school. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiATcY-pyq4M0jK2enA_kPrYGuBBjLTeFN0Mxcqd837YJadALOJiDJ84WG8i4B7d9EGv-sHy8hw-br_ZPZDGy6vCQ0kWteDL-zPzS4TI7Gcxj_a5GUgpAn3hPQP8R8amr6fqB-ABgjf6qTRnnBadcIxDe2gqKQurzfw_JhdS35in7iDEh4wBtI07PHETA" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="189" data-original-width="266" height="85" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiATcY-pyq4M0jK2enA_kPrYGuBBjLTeFN0Mxcqd837YJadALOJiDJ84WG8i4B7d9EGv-sHy8hw-br_ZPZDGy6vCQ0kWteDL-zPzS4TI7Gcxj_a5GUgpAn3hPQP8R8amr6fqB-ABgjf6qTRnnBadcIxDe2gqKQurzfw_JhdS35in7iDEh4wBtI07PHETA=w120-h85" width="120" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-57174110651707108692023-05-24T02:22:00.003-07:002023-05-24T02:22:49.832-07:00<p>Shavuot and the Embracing of the Dark </p><p>My favorite ride every year takes place in the dark. </p><p>Usually on a fall Sunday following the chagim, my bike riding buddies and I (known as the Papa Wheelies) head down to the city, way before the sun rises, to participate in the ride for MS research. And as we exit Grand Central Station and make our way to the pier, we have the whole city to ourselves. Streets that later will be gridlocked are barren and quiet reigns on our usually hectic, noisy Big Apple.</p><p>As a morning person, I can identify with the famous song from Guys and Dolls which says, “My time of day is the dark time.” Because it’s not only on that riding day where I like the dark time, it’s any day that I can take time in the dark before dawn to have a moment to ground myself before the world comes to life, that I cherish. </p><p>One of the beauties of the Tikkun Leyl Shavuot, in which thousands of Jews this week will participate, is the embracing of learning Torah during the holiness of the dark time. </p><p>R. Dovid Hofstedter in his Doresh David tells us that while learning Torah any time is a mitzvah, it is in those dark hours, at night before dawn, where we learn the most wisdom. He quotes R. Yonah in Avot who says that those times of darkness are ripe for reflecting on Torah because we have no work responsibility and we do not have to be distracted by the voices from the outside. The dark time puts the world aside and allows us to focus. </p><p>David Whyte, poet and philosopher writes in his book The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship, about the commitments to work and to others, and also the commitment to self. He tells us that our inner self, the one that we can actually hear in the dark and in times of cessation, “moves and changes and surprises us.” Through our work, through our relationships and through our religious life, our self transforms and it is only in moments of quiet and darkness where we can connect to our ever-changing selves. </p><p>It is no surprise that Shavuot’s all night learning is called, the tikkun, literally, the improvement and that the holiday where the tikkun takes places is also known as Ateseret, cessation. For Shavuot, is a holiday where we are to cease from distraction, and focus on the main task of stepping back and truly engaging with Torah and our religious selves in order to grow and improve. </p><p>In our world and in our Jewish lens, we talk so much about embracing and blessing light. Yes, it is light that shines and gives us strength, but sometimes we forget that every morning we also bless God for בוֹרֵא חֽשֶׁךְ creating darkness. Darkness is just as much an ingredient to a life lived well.</p><p>This Shavuot, let’s embrace the dark – the place where we can truly listen and prepare our selves and our souls to reach their greatest heights. </p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-46352858815377661422023-04-03T07:10:00.008-07:002023-04-03T07:35:31.239-07:00<p>Our Precious Holiday of (Limited) Freedom: חג החירות המוגבל</p><p><br /></p><p>Over the past few months, three thinkers have helped me to understand a more layered approach to the concept of freedom, one that I will bring to the Seder and Pesach this year. </p><p><b>Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals </b></p><p>In this amazingly thoughtful book, Burkeman says that while we often think and frame ourselves as free, our “freedom” is actually very limited. Our capacities, our abilities and our time, are undeniably finite. And, ironically, that limit can sometimes be freeing. </p><p>He writes, “it’s not that you’ve been cheated out of an unlimited supply of time; ..it’s almost incomprehensibly miraculous to have been granted any time at all……There is a very down-to-earth kind of liberation in grasping that there are certain truths about being a limited human from which you’ll never be liberated. You don’t get to dictate the course of events. </p><p>And the paradoxical reward for accepting reality’s constraints is that they no longer feel so constraining.”</p><p>We are not really free in the strictest sense. We are bound by our human limitations. While we have no idea how much time we will be gifted, our freedom lies in how we navigate, budget and spend that precious commodity of time.</p><p><b>Rav Pam, (1913 – August 16, 2001) Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Torah Vodaas in Brooklyn, New York.</b></p><p>“Free people often work long hours doing arduous tasks…A slave works until he or she is allowed to stop. A free person decides when to begin and end. </p><p>“Control over time is the essential difference between slavery and freedom. Control over the calendar gave the Israelites the power to determine when the new moon occurred, and thus, when the festivals occur. They were given authority over time. The first command to the Israelites was thus an essential prelude to freedom. It said: learn how to value time and make it holy. "Teach us rightly to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom, לִמְנ֣וֹת יָ֭מֵינוּ כֵּ֣ן הוֹדַ֑ע וְ֝נָבִ֗א לְבַ֣ב חׇכְמָֽה׃</p><p>(Ps. 90:12)”.</p><p>It is the ability to make our limited time matter and sacred that is one of the true gifts of freedom. </p><p><b>Sebastian Junger, Freedom</b></p><p>While we often look at freedom as independence, Junger helps to frame the concept of freedom differently. He sees freedom as something that carries along with it a strong element of debt. He writes, </p><p>“For most of human history, freedom had to be at least suffered for, if not died for, and that raised its value to something almost sacred. In modern democracies, however, an ethos of public sacrifice is rarely needed because freedom and survival are more or less guaranteed. That is a great blessing, but allows people to believe that any sacrifice at all—rationing water during a drought, for example—are forms of government tyranny. They are no more forms of tyranny than rationing water on a lifeboat. The idea that we can enjoy the benefits of society while owing nothing in return is literally infantile. Only children owe nothing.” </p><p><br /></p><p>Once again, our freedom lies in our ability to decide to whom we want to commit, sacrifice and self constrict. </p><p><br /></p><p>On the one hand, yes the Haggadah tells us</p><p> עֲבָדִים הָיִינוּ הָיִינו. עַתָּה בְּנֵי חוֹרִין </p><p>"We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt. Now we are free." </p><p>Yet, on the other hand we are told from Pirkei Avot (2:16) </p><p>לֹא עָלֶיךָ הַמְּלָאכָה לִגְמֹר, וְלֹא אַתָּה בֶן חוֹרִין לִבָּטֵל מִמֶּנָּה.</p><p>"You don't have to do all of the work, but you are not free to walk away."</p><p><br /></p><p>We are free people and we are also not free. Living a life of freedom is living a life of realizing that our freedom lies in how we truly reflect and prioritize, and how we focus and commit our most precious limited life resources– our time, our possessions, our energies and our deep human connections.</p><p>Chag sameach.</p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-1343778532122705722023-03-01T12:26:00.006-08:002023-03-01T12:26:39.573-08:00<p> Mishloach Manot: The Mitzvah We May Need Most</p><p>Over the years, as technology has taken over our lives, it is good to know that how we observe so many mitzvot hasn’t really changed. Each year we hear the pure natural sound of the shofar, we shake the lulav and we dance with the Torah. The pure act of so many of our mitzvot gives us comfort, warmth and connection.</p><p>But some mitzvot have dramatically changed. For so many, including myself, mishloach manot looks radically different than what it once was. I used to bake and assemble and spend Purim in the car and knocking on doors. Yet, over the years, I have admittedly become more tired, more lazy and more reliant on my computer to share the Purim cheer with friends and family through one-click shul, school and community fundraisers.</p><p>And I think, in the process, we’ve lost our way with what this mitzvah is supposed to do. Because at its core, the mitzvah of mishloach manot is for us to share our joy with the people in our neighborhood. </p><p>The mitzvah has its source in the 9th Chapter of Megillat Esther (9:19)</p><p>עַל־כֵּ֞ן הַיְּהוּדִ֣ים (הפרוזים) [הַפְּרָזִ֗ים] הַיֹּשְׁבִים֮ בְּעָרֵ֣י הַפְּרָזוֹת֒ עֹשִׂ֗ים אֵ֠ת י֣וֹם אַרְבָּעָ֤ה עָשָׂר֙ לְחֹ֣דֶשׁ אֲדָ֔ר שִׂמְחָ֥ה וּמִשְׁתֶּ֖ה וְי֣וֹם ט֑וֹב וּמִשְׁלֹ֥חַ מָנ֖וֹת אִ֥ישׁ לְרֵעֵֽהוּ׃ <span style="white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p>That is why village Jews, who live in unwalled towns, observe the fourteenth day of the month of Adar and make it a day of merrymaking and feasting, and as a holiday and an occasion for sending gifts to one another.</p><p>The Shem MiShmuel, Shmuel Bornsztain, the second Sochatchover rebbe, points out that this mitzvah actually corresponds to Haman’s critique of the Jews. Haman describes our people as follows: </p><p><br /></p><p>Megillah 3:8</p><p>וַיֹּ֤אמֶר הָמָן֙ לַמֶּ֣לֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵר֔וֹשׁ יֶשְׁנ֣וֹ עַם־אֶחָ֗ד מְפֻזָּ֤ר וּמְפֹרָד֙ בֵּ֣ין הָֽעַמִּ֔ים בְּכֹ֖ל מְדִינ֣וֹת מַלְכוּתֶ֑ךָ</p><p>“There is a certain people, scattered and dispersed among the other peoples in all the provinces of your realm” The Daat Mikrah on the verse tells us that the Jews are accused of being separated from one another, scattered and not connected. </p><p>Judith Shulevitz, in her piece “Why Don’t I See you Anymore?” points out that “It’s a cliché among political philosophers that if you want to create the conditions for tyranny, you sever the bonds…of relationships..and community…” In his evil wisdom Haman knew this well. With a broken and spread out community, the plot to eradicate the Jews could become a reality. </p><p>And so, it is mishloach manot that is the tikkun, the antidote, to Haman’s accusation. </p><p>Actually encountering and seeing not just your friends, but your neighbors, turns the description of our people’s separation upside down. The mitzvah makes us united, not separated. As the Shem MiShmuel states here משלוח מנות איש לרעהו הוא היפוך מפוזר, “mishloach manot is the opposite of scattering.”</p><p>In Pirkei Avot (2:9), R. Yosse and R. Joshua each shares an opinion on the key aspect to living a good life and the importance of friends and neighbors. אָמַר לָהֶם, צְאוּ וּרְאוּ אֵיזוֹהִי דֶרֶךְ יְשָׁרָה שֶׁיִּדְבַּק בָּהּ הָאָדָם. רַבִּי יְהוֹשֻׁעַ אוֹמֵר חָבֵר טוֹב. רַבִּי יוֹסֵי אוֹמֵר, שָׁכֵן טוֹב. </p><p>He [Rabban Yohanan] said unto them: go forth and observe which is the right way to which a man should cleave? Rabbi Joshua said, a good friend; Rabbi Yose said, a good neighbor;</p><p>Rabbi Joshua loves the good friend which seems logical, yet, Rabbi Yosse’s identification of the good neighbor is less obvious. What is the need for a good neighbor when you can have a good friend? Rabbi Lau says that R. Yosse is saying that we always have to be concerned about those who surround us– דאוג לסביבה</p><p>The critical importance of the role of neighbor is validated by the most recent psychological research. In Gillian Sanstrom and Elizabeth Dunn’s work, Social Interactions and Well-Being: The Surprising Power of Weak Ties, they write, “The present research tested whether subjective well-being is related not only to interactions with these strong ties but also to interactions with weak social ties (i.e., acquaintances). It highlights the power of weak ties, suggesting that even social interactions with the more peripheral members of our social networks contribute to our well-being.”</p><p>This year, I will challenge myself to leave my laptop and give more mishloach manot around the neighborhood. And next December I will try to write personal holiday cards to the UPS deliverer, the shopkeeper or the barber and work to keep these lessons in mind. Truly engaging and “seeing” the other reminds us that it is the loose bonds, not only the strong ones, that contribute to a life of holiness. </p><p>Recognizing our interconnectivity can strengthen and unify our people and our world — a lesson and a mitzvah we all so desperately need. </p><p><i>I want to thank my friend and chavruta, Rabbi Ron Muroff for his wisdom and assistance with this piece.</i></p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-60127190459814256662023-02-05T07:23:00.003-08:002023-02-05T08:59:11.905-08:00<p>Joy and Pruning: Two “Thinking Jew” Conversation Starters for Tu B’Shvat</p><p>One of the many goals of our Kinneret 8th Grade is to become what we call a “thinking Jew.” Thinking Jews explore new ideas in Judaism and new trends in the culture of our people both here in the US and in Israel and they integrate that information into their identity..</p><p>Thinking Jews also look at the Chagim with more mature understandings, aiming to acquire meaningful lessons they can take with them as emerging adults.</p><p>With this in mind, we asked the following questions in our class with respect to Tu B’Shvat. They helped all of us to become better “thinking Jews” and they helped us explore personal meaning in the chag. </p><p>1- Simcha:</p><p>Rabbi Rabbi Dovid Hofstedter in his book the Doresh David points out that as Tu B’Shvat is the Rosh HaShanah for trees (Mishnah Rosh Hashana 1:1), and we act with joy toward this day. We omit supplicatory prayers like tachanun and we greet each with the chag sameach greeting. Yet, we don’t celebrate all of the other Rosh HaShanahs mentioned in this Mishnah (ones for Kings and tithing). So why would we embrace a holiday that is not for us, but for the tree? </p><p>Why act with simcha on the Rosh HaShanah for the Trees?</p><p>The Doresh David points out that the Rosh HaShanah for humans is one that, while joyous, is also filled with fear and awe. There is a tone of heaviness that accompanies the high holiday in the fall. However, on Tu B’Shvat, we look at the bare trees and know that they will renew and we will witness nature’s renewal, הִתחַדְשׁוּת. This הִתחַדְשׁוּת inspires us to look at ourselves at nature and renew with a pure joy – a purity that the other Rosh HaShana does not. Tu B’Shvat gives us hope and asks us how we will renew ourselves as we look toward spring. What are we feeling despair about this winter for which we hope for renewal?</p><p>2- Pruning:</p><p>As we reflect upon the cycles of trees, the act of pruning bears some reflection. Rav Hofstedter points out that we cut off branches for the good of the life of the tree which we are tending. </p><p>What personal lesson can we learn from pruning?</p><p>Not only is the cutting not harmful to the tree, it is helpful. “Pruning removes dead and dying branches and stubs, allowing room for new growth and protecting your property and passerby from damage.” (The Benefits of Pruning | The Grounds Guys)</p><p>We take lessons from pruning into many aspects of our lives. The first is in regards to time. As Oliver Burkman points out in his book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, part of the essential human condition is the desire to see our time as infinite, while knowing, all at the same time, that it is not. </p><p>By pruning away time pressures in our busy schedules, by saying no to some of our demands, it allows us to say yes to others. Cutting off time commitments that are not in sync with our professional, personal and spiritual priorities, allows us to use our time in ways that are. </p><p>We can also take lessons from pruning when it comes to the parts of ourselves and our life that we could do without. Whether it is bad habits, unproductive emotions or destructive relationships, we all must prune. He points out the principle of מוריד כדי להעלות, to cut off in order to thrive and tells us that we all must take part in this exercise in order to thrive. Just as the fruit tree or grapevine needs pruning to thrive, so does each of us. Tu B’Shvat challenges us to think of what we want to shed in order to thrive. Whether it is in the area of time or of our character, what can we prune to allow for flourishing?</p><p>Wishing each of us a season of הִתחַדְשׁוּת, of renewal, and of עליה, reaching new heights with the hopes for the spring ahead. </p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgH8oo9n6DW6PkAiN68pUGKFVXBm7tSbGgZX52JYcAIAEC9SxHbR8ehznWD7vOYKslvcZttl_MUzPMeYJPjLO_nKass-B9yPAEMlc7Ek6NYXa68-QSLEzQvFHGsSmrDah4CCVtKQY4BX6V4pgCQgoWWa_zDgzMsClljuFVdIlnL1XD_WuWSsDg_sRajmg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="132" data-original-width="123" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgH8oo9n6DW6PkAiN68pUGKFVXBm7tSbGgZX52JYcAIAEC9SxHbR8ehznWD7vOYKslvcZttl_MUzPMeYJPjLO_nKass-B9yPAEMlc7Ek6NYXa68-QSLEzQvFHGsSmrDah4CCVtKQY4BX6V4pgCQgoWWa_zDgzMsClljuFVdIlnL1XD_WuWSsDg_sRajmg" width="224" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-14648552835620520102022-12-23T06:41:00.005-08:002022-12-23T07:33:59.620-08:00<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhewVemnPfu2ULrTHLtBcoWHsx3_zDREi74sa5lE3iOMJkA2-d1AEg_qXvNmMqQa7SWcEWm3yZ26t_ZKOmxotIwAwBJ6fTxCyjXEUSHX-IavFXIboyb0llQiMq52GYIQe82q2V0Kvmy5lclSMtlSG3QqBG6oKPcYzcQvE7s7VBPv1ENSShXARnXfQJXjw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="602" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhewVemnPfu2ULrTHLtBcoWHsx3_zDREi74sa5lE3iOMJkA2-d1AEg_qXvNmMqQa7SWcEWm3yZ26t_ZKOmxotIwAwBJ6fTxCyjXEUSHX-IavFXIboyb0llQiMq52GYIQe82q2V0Kvmy5lclSMtlSG3QqBG6oKPcYzcQvE7s7VBPv1ENSShXARnXfQJXjw=w133-h199" width="133" /></a></div><br />Not Spreading the Light, but Striking It: Chanukkah and the Holiday of the Heart<p></p><p>“Spread the light,” “light up the darkness,” are the messages we hear so much this time of year when it comes to Chanukkah. From commercials to synagogue programs, sharing the light is the common theme.</p><p>And understandably so, the primary concept of Chanukkah is the miracle– the miracle of the war and the miracle of the oil. The central mitzvah of this holiday is pirsumei nisa, to share and publicize the miracle. We fulfill this precept by placing our menorah by our windows and showing the world our pride. We are told in the Talmud that we must keep the menorah lit for at least 30 minutes until all of the foot traffic leaves our neighborhoods making sure that every passerby takes in the power of the lights. </p><p><br /></p><p>But there is another halacha that seems to go against this principle. We are told in the Talmud that if, after lighting our candles, the light mistakenly burns out or blows out, we don’t have to reignite the flames. Even if it is ten seconds after the lighting, we do not have to relight them. If we are given the mission to publicize the miracle, it would seem if our candles go out, we should relight them to fulfill the mitzvah. So what is this little known halakha coming to teach us?</p><p><br /></p><p>Rabbi David Hofstetter in his Doresh David asks this very question and in doing so broadens the message of Chanukkah. He first echoes the statement of the halakha. He states that the mitzvah of Chanukkah is actually not the actual light, but the hadlakah, the putting the fire to the wicks that is the essence of the mitzvah of Chanukkah. The goal of Chanukkah is l’orer et libo, to awaken the heart, for us to reflect on who we are and to let our individual hearts speak to what we want our lives to be about.</p><p><br /></p><p>Chanukkah is also about reminding us, as individuals, of what it means to self sacrifice and fulfill the concept of mesirat nefesh, giving of our souls to something bigger. It was the self-sacrifice of the Chashmonaim, the Macabees, who were able to realize the importance of the moment, take initiative and rise up. When they could have blended into the crowd, it was the individuals who stepped up and recognized the importance of the moment. They realized that it was a time to act for God, an et laasot laShem. It was a time to fight despite being outnumbered and outmanned by the enemy. It was also a time to step up to light the menorah with pure oil, which, contrary to what we learned as children, was not required as impure oil would have sufficed. We echo this concept of going beyond the minimum when we each light many candles each night, when the strict minimum is only one candle per household, ish ner ubeito. </p><p><br /></p><p>Chanukkah, according to the Doresh David, is actually about how we as individuals can and should do our best to identify times of need and go beyond the minimum. It is about standing up against what the world tells us to be, and sometimes being counter cultural. </p><p><br /></p><p>In this scary world, where it may be easier to hide our principles and our Judaism, Chanukkah tells each one of us, no. It tells each of us to be a proud Jew and radiate Jewish pride. In a time where cynicism often reigns and discourse and civility is in decline, Chanukkah tells us to be strong citizens and stand up for timeless values of kindness, understanding and dialogue.</p><p><br /></p><p>Yes, Chanukkah is about the big parties, the communal celebration and the spreading of the light, but it is equally, if not more, about how we strike the match and how each of us must challenge ourselves, to look into our hearts and ignite the spark that can awaken the fire in our hearts to fulfill our divine potential. </p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-78772821808861152512022-11-17T09:21:00.008-08:002023-07-25T05:54:58.002-07:00<p> <b>Chaye Sarah: Virtues, Vision and a Mentor with a Tweed Coat --A Tribute to Paul Bolenbaugh</b></p><p>This week’s parsha recalls the death of Sarah, but is strangely called Chaye Sarah, literally translated as “The Life of Sarah.” While it certainly discusses her death and burial, it is Rashi, among others, who tell us that the unusual choice of titles for this parsha is purposeful, as death helps us understand life. Sarah, our matriarch, lived a life of energy, vigor and moral character.</p><p>David Brooks, author and columnist, echoes this age-old concept. He writes, “..there were two sets of virtues, the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues…The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful. Were you capable of deep love.”</p><p>While I do not know of Sarah’s resume virtues, the choice of title of the parsha, Chaye Sarah, reminds us of her eulogy virtues–the ones that are values-laden and everlasting.</p><p>Two weeks ago, the world lost a master teacher to thousands. Paul Bolenbaugh taught history and social studies for 58 years in the Baltimore area. He was a “one-of-a kind, a man whose own pursuit of knowledge and love of history, politics and literature inspired several generations of students. Paul leaves a lasting legacy of independent and critical thinking, the search for justice, love of democracy and respect for all of humanity.”</p><p>Paul, whom I am proud to have called a mentor and friend, was a man of endless eulogy virtues. Of the many things he taught me, he shared two quotes that reflected his passion and his soulful approach to life. </p><p><b>בְּאֵ֣ין חָ֭זוֹן יִפָּ֣רַֽע עָ֑ם וְשֹׁמֵ֖ר תּוֹרָ֣ה אַשְׁרֵֽהו When there is no vision, the people perish. </b></p><p><b>(משלי/Proverbs 29:18). </b></p><p>This quote is about the content of prophecy—the hope and message for a world of holiness and goodness. Paul was a person who believed in living life with both wonder, adventure and vision. With the lenses of joy, kindness, equity in love, Paul was a passionate teacher who pushed his students to be thoughtful and idealists. Carrying strong convictions, wide smiles and energizing conversations – vision was the air that Paul truly breathed. </p><p><br /></p><p><b>“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think” (Margaret Mead, cultural anthropologist)</b></p><p> Paul was never one to have students memorize, or cram for final projects or assessments. Whether it was challenging the value of Columbus Day or delving into deserted island ethical conundrums, his job was to push students and be a trainer of the contemplative muscle. He wanted to teach children that knowledge is best used when it is put to the task of increased analysis and improvement of our world, our country, our communities, and our souls.</p><p>The world and thousands of people are better for having known Paul Bolenbaugh. Paul was a man with a brilliant, analytic mind which was only exceeded by the depth of his endlessly empathic, humble and loving soul.</p><p>Paul said it best when he wrote:</p><p>“I am relatively unimportant… I affect some people- But most of humanity will live and die never knowing my life and death- nor mine theirs. I believe I am a dreamer,...I know something about people–not enough, however. And this is a frightening loss. I try honestly to understand, to follow, and to know the whys about people.</p><p>I end up knowing fantastically little. But I continue the effort anyway. If I want things to be different, what can I do? The dreamer is never satisfied.”</p><p>Paul Bolenbaugh’s light lives in all who were impacted by him. His life, his חַיִים ,his eulogy virtues will live on. </p><p>Paul, the teacher, the dreamer, thankfully taught us all fantastically much.</p><p>May the Life of Paul, be for a blessing. יהי זכרו ברוך</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-58367844771744531632022-10-07T02:32:00.004-07:002022-10-07T02:37:54.022-07:00<p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div><span id="docs-internal-guid-76b97638-7fff-d24b-48ee-48f4bfeac324"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Increasing the Spiritual Thirst of Our Students</p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Thank you to the staff at The Jewish Education Experience Podcast for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts and philosophy on education and Jewish relevance. </p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Click <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/increasing-the-spiritual-thirst-of-your-students/id1579795204?i=1000576549032">here</a> for Apple platform, <a href="https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xMjU3NjUzLnJzcw/episode/QnV6enNwcm91dC0xMTE2MzQ3MQ?hl=en&ved=2ahUKEwjyz4auvJn6AhU4j4kEHa9jCJwQieUEegQIAxAL&ep=6">here</a> for Google and <a href="https://open.spotify.com/episode/6vtTlzZc8ybDRKPg3K2vVB">here</a> for Spotify. </p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Wishing everyone a Shabbat Shalom and Chag sameach. </p><div><br /></div></span></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-44232020454972399962022-09-08T10:10:00.000-07:002022-09-08T10:10:01.159-07:00<p><b> The Shofar’s Voice in Staples' Odd Back to School Campaign</b></p><p>Staples is trying to undo a classic American phrase. All over the radio and internet, Staples keeps telling us as they peddle folders, pens and notebooks, “Let's Go Forward 2 School. We're not going back to school”. </p><p>From our youngest years of life, the end of summer has always been “Back to School”–It’s Back to School sales, Back to School banners and even Back to School Night. While this campaign rubs me the wrong way, I think Staples actually may be on to something. </p><p>The sounds of the shofar gives us a clue on how we should look not just at Back to School, but at all of our fall returns–returning to schedule, returning to the holidays and returning to more of a routine. And yes, each year we go forward and we also must do it by going back. </p><p>As we all know, the shofar has a three part structure, tekiah, shevarim/truah, tekiah. It is through those notes where we can learn about the dynamics of our most sacred relationships.</p><p>Tekiah: The term tekiah is about stability. The root ת.ק.ע means to stake in, to root, to stabilize. The shofar first brings us in by reminding us of our strong and foundational connections in this world – our relationship to God, to others and to our commitments. The tekiah is there to ground us.</p><p>Shevarim: If the tekiah is about stability, the shevarim is about the broken moments in life - the unstable chapters that are a part of every relationship. Shevarim is about the crises, the disappointments, the heartbreaks that take place. Shever ( ש.ב.ר.) literally means shatter. The shofar, which is meant to awaken us, teaches us that whether it be a dramatic betrayal like the Golden Calf in the Jews’ relationship to God, a miscommunication, a heartbreak, a setback or even a pandemic – there are tearful shattered moments in all of our connections. Sadly, there will be shevarim in all of our lives. </p><p>Teruah: The teruah is actually a loud, dramatic sound. Mentioned numerous times in Biblical contexts, it is the dramatic moments that characterize the תרועה. The teruah is those huge events that often change the course of a relationship. Those can be a loud sound of praise to God, a call to action of war, a sound to tell the Jews to move on, a blast of freedom on the Yovel and even the sound of the shofar on Mt. Sinai–each teruah impacted the nature of connections in the Torah. And in our human relationships, whether it is a relocation, a marriage, a birth or any new dramatic chapter – there are teruah moments which make us feel that our lives will never be the same. The teruah makes us feel that there is only going forward. </p><p>Tekiah: And yet, even after the dramatic cacophonous note and sound of teruah, we return. Yes, relationships move forward, but even when their character is different, we go back–we go back to the stability of the tekiah. And whether it be with God, with others or even with those that are no longer in this world, the tekiah brings us back to the covenantal promises of trust and support that are the keys to our relationships.</p><p>Whether it is in our religious, professional, family or social connections, all relationships, the tekiahs, are at their best when we integrate the highs and the lows, the shevarims and the teruahs, and then return – return to a new way forward in our foundational tekiah relationships. </p><p>Four times each week in our tefilot, we quote the final pasuk from Eicha and we pray for this exact dynamic. We ask God to renew, to go forward and to go back. We say, חדש ימינו כקדם–renew our days as of old!. We want to renew and integrate our new realities and embrace our growth, and, at the same time, we want to do so with the strength and foundation of our most trusted and sacred relationships. </p><p>As we go back to school, back to “life” and back to the rhythm of the Jewish year, we are going forward 2 school and going forward 2 life, but, with the message of the shofar, we are doing so grounded in the foundations of what we love about going back–. חדש ימינו כקדם</p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-72156914384004792952022-07-05T06:02:00.010-07:002023-02-05T07:37:12.781-08:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><br /></div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b style="background-color: white;">Up Close Snapshots of a Rebbe: Life Lessons from Rav David Weiss Halivni</b></span><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-93fa6e3d-7fff-cc35-6ee5-af24633f257c"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the early 90’s, following college graduation, I was soul searching–looking for direction in the next chapter of my life, </span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was in those years that I was blessed to learn from Rav David Weiss Halivni, both as a regular at the Finkelstein Minyan, later as member of Kehilat Orach Eliezer and also as a rabbinical student at his rabbinical school, the Metivta. </span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While I did learn about his passion for Talmud and scholarship, for me, the countless life lessons that I learned from this gadol, a man whom I had the privilege to watch with a front row seat, were most powerful. </span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni as a pluralist-</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the 90’s, a major topic in our community was pluralism and squaring the challenge of being a person of faith while being open to the views of others. When I asked Rav Halivni how he navigated that challenge, he answered with enormous humility. I remember him telling me, “I will believe with everything I have that I am right. But, at the same time, I am human, and the possibility that I am wrong demands that I am open to the paths of others.” It is this message of passion and humility that is a strong foundation for openness. </span></span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni as a model of empathy-</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I remember once talking to him about all of the suffering he endured as a child. I pointed out how that suffering must be so huge compared to more “small-scale” suffering that happens as part of the rhythm of much human life. He didn’t see it that way. He was the first to teach me that there is no quantifying suffering. No one person’s suffering or tragedy is more intense than others. From this Holocaust survivor who had seen unspeakable horrors, I learned that when someone’s world shatters, it shatters, and broken hearts are all equally painful. </span></span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni as a friend </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">- Rabbi Halivni led the minyan in Rabbi Finkelstein’s home, teaching and davening. But the biggest lesson I learned from him was watching him and Rabbi Finkelstein engage with one another. They were long-time friends, always sharing a greeting, a smile, an embrace and a word of Torah. Rav Halivni also took care of R. Finkelstein with enormous respect, making sure he had his siddur, his talit. Maybe the most indelible picture in my mind of the two of them from those years was on Simchat Torah. When everyone was dancing during hakafot, Rav Halivni, would go up to R. Finkelstein and sing </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ברוך אלהינו שבראנו לכבודו</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and hold hands and dance with him, his face glowing with a smile from ear to ear. Watching these two friends together in shared camaraderie and passion for Torah was a yearly lesson learned.</span></span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni as a davener - </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the minyan, Rav Halivni had a favorite </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">אל אדון </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">tune. To this day, I call it the Rav Halivni tune. He loved it so! I remember that his soul would soar when he reached the line </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">שבח נותנים לו </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">that he could not resist singing it just a bit louder so the heavens would hear the praise he gave to God. He had an ability to lose himself in tefila–something I will always take with me. </span></span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni on intellectual integrity - </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Over the past week, I had the privilege of reading posts by so many scholars about Rav Halivni. I am not one of those scholars, yet his </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">shita</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, both in looking at the Talmud and also the text of the Torah as learned through his books (which I admittedly did not often fully understand) allowed me to see that one can live with intellectual integrity and also keep a pureness of faith. The foundation of this kind of life of heartfelt passion combined intellect is אמונה צרופה ויושר דעת, the tagline that he used for his yeshiva.</span></span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni on “shortcuts” to faith -</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I remember distinctly taking a walk once with Rav Halivni in NYC on a Shabbat morning. It was right after I had learned about the “Torah Codes,” an approach to seeing hidden secrets in the Torah, popularized in the 90’s by Aish HaTorah. I wanted to know what this scholarly giant thought of these less sophisticated, but somehow somewhat compelling ways of seeing Torah. While most in my world trashed the codes and were at best skeptical, Rav Halivni in his pure and humble way, did not. He told me that while he was not, and never would be, interested in that type of lens on the Torah, he showed respect for those who do. He told me that they could be right and they could be wrong, but he could never base faith on something like that. He was able to show respect for an approach that is totally not “him,” while teaching me that something as complex as faith cannot fit into such a neat, simple box. </span></span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So while I have a semikha klaff signed by Rav Halivni attesting to my learning (photo of the ceremony above), it is not simply the halakha from Rav Halivni that I am honored to have learned. Rav Halvni was a walking Torah of life whose lessons deeply impacted me and countless other students. </span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rav Halivni always stayed true to his mind, his heart and his soul. He did not go by the fads of the day or public pressures. Whether it was as an institutional leader, a scholar or as a survivor of the Shoah, he shared his precious stories, his insights and his true self on his terms, in his own powerful and humble way. </span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">His openness and revolutionary ideas were principles that flourished as they were grounded and planted in soil of purity, honesty, brilliance, wisdom, genuineness, unyielding faith and genuineness. </span></p><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The world was beyond blessed with his presence. </span></p><p dir="rtl" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: right;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="rtl" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: right;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">יהי זכרו ברוך</span></p><p dir="rtl" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: right;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="rtl" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: right;"><br /></p><br /></span>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-10012425553664311732022-06-21T09:59:00.000-07:002022-06-21T09:59:02.726-07:00<p>For Each to Discover חובתו בעולמו : A Hope for the Class of 2022 </p><p> To the Dear Class of 2022,</p><p>While each class is unique, you will always be special as not only a class that I have grown with here at KDS since you were in 3rd grade, but as the first that I had the pleasure of teaching in the classroom on a regular basis. Through our time together every other day in Judaics this year and in so many other surroundings, I have been so impressed with you all. You are a group of smart, inquisitive, caring and supportive young people. </p><p>While many principals tell their graduates that they have the whole world in front of them, I want to sharpen that blessing with two other ideas about the world for you to take going forward.</p><p>The first message about the world comes from R. Moshe Chaim Luzatto as told in his מסילת ישרים. He tells us that the most important job of each person is to figure out חובתו בעולמו their responsibility in their own world. </p><p>The outside world is out there for you to navigate, but also, at the same time, you have to create your own worlds, olamo–you have to create worlds of what is important to you, worlds of your social circles, of your beliefs and of your education. Find your mission in your world, put yourself in a world where you will be the best you you can be. Blessing #1–Create the world you want to see and fulfill your potential in it. </p><p>The second message comes from a famous passage in the Talmud. In Sanhedrin 37a it says, - כל אחד ואחד חייב לומר בשבילי נברא העולם each and every person is obligated to say: The world was created for me.</p><p>If we truly believe that the world is just for me, it seems that this is a selfish idea. All is for me, all is about me. I am the center.</p><p>Yet, R. Shai Held tells us that this passage has in mind something totally different. It actually teaches us not what we are entitled to, but what we are responsible for. While we should enjoy the wonderful things in the world, the Talmud is saying that the world is fully there not to take from it, but to improve it. It is there for me to impact it. </p><p>Blessing #2-Realize that every moment and every environment is one that is ripe for impact. </p><p>Yes, you have the whole world in your hands. Realize that the world you inherit is not only one that is full of possibilities, but it is one that also demands we each fill our responsibilities of giving to others and also of creating environments where goodness can thrive. </p><p>May you be blessed to fill these worlds with kindness, goodness and growth.</p><p>Come and visit often, keep in touch and make our KDS world part of the world you create. </p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-80991044650566767132022-05-06T11:18:00.000-07:002022-05-06T11:18:03.939-07:00<p> Were they All Really Holy? Death, the Yoms and our Personal and National Legacy</p><p>Each year as spring arrives, Jewish people memorialize. From Yizkor on Pesach, to Yom HaShoah and Yom HaZikaron, we say prayers that allow us to reflect on those whom we have lost, both in our personal lives and in our nation.</p><p>Yet, this year, as I sat in Yizkor, one line gave me pause. In some of the versions of the אֵל מָלֵא רַחֲמִים Memorial Prayer for Yom HaShoah and Yom HaZikaron, we say כלם קדושים, each and every person who died was holy. </p><p>But how is it that they are all holy? Certainly some of those whom we think about on these days were unkind or inconsiderate or even cruel or dishonest. Sometimes קדוש may not be the first or even the last word we use to describe them. </p><p>So why does everyone who died in these events get “bumped up” to the level of holiness? I spent some time discussing this question with our thoughtful KDS students, and we came up with a few answers that can teach us all important lessons for life.</p><p>I. Every human being is holy. </p><p>When we look at Breishit 1:26-27, we learn that everyone is holy. Each of us is born with צֶ֥לֶם אֱלֹהִ֖ים, the image of God. This famous and foundational principle makes each person, even those who make mistakes or even those who hurt others, have some spark of holiness. When we say the memorial prayer it reminds us that while not every action is forgivable, the idea that each person is holy may allow us to be more forgiving and charitable when we think of those who have passed on.</p><p>II. Death gives us perspective.</p><p>Maybe holiness is not necessarily about the people who died, but holiness inspires those of us who remain. Rabbi Sam Shonkoff writes, “When we open ourselves to darkness—when we honestly look upon mortality, suffering and failure, in ourselves and in our world—we can elevate ourselves to higher planes.” Thinking about the concept of death leads us to think about who we are, how we live and the legacies of holiness we want to pass on. Death brings holiness as it raises us and inspires us toward good. </p><p>III. Their death linked them to Am Yisrael, to its principles and to God. </p><p>While the above reasons make sense with respect to individuals, the term כלם קדושים only appears in the collective prayer. Therefore, there must be something especially holy about dying as part of our people in these tragic circumstances. </p><p>In thinking with these lenses, one of our students so wisely said that those dead are holy because their death was a Jewish death. In other words, their death linked them to our nation and to the ethos of the Jewish people. </p><p>When we remember someone who died in the struggle for Israel or in the Holocaust, it makes them part of the Jewish story in a way that an individual death does not. Sadly, over the centuries, our people have been victimized because we stand for the principles of morality, monotheism, goodness and holiness. Sometimes representing those ideals comes at a terrible sacrifice. The people who died in those struggles are holy as they make us remember that price and our connection to Am Yisrael, Torat Yisrael and our principles. </p><p>So while everyone is holy on every day of the year, those who we remember on these days are unique in their tragic deaths. Yom HaZikaron, Yom HaShoah and maybe even Memorial Day all give us perspective on our commitments, on our broader priorities, our nation, our principles, our God and the legacies we want to leave behind. In this way, no matter what they did in life, in death they will always be קדושים. </p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-2634766661226760872022-04-13T01:54:00.004-07:002022-04-15T05:10:03.757-07:00<p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Dancing with Elijah: </b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Peace, Parenting and the Dialogue of Generations: </b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><b>Lessons, Quotes and Questions for Your Pesach Seder</b></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p>If one were to think about the central “hero” of the Passover story, Moshe would most certainly come to mind. The man who rose up, saw injustice, led the people and challenged the authority of Pharaoh ushering the people to freedom—Moshe is the obvious choice to star at our Pesach tables. </p><p><br /></p><p>Yet, Moshe probably would not win, as it is commonly known that his name is not even found in the Haggadah. So who is the next in line?</p><p><br /></p><p>To me, the Biblical character that is most fascinating at the Seder is Eliyahu HaNavi, Elijah the Prophet. Eliyahu is central to introducing Pesach each year in the Haftarah of Shabbat HaGadol and we famously invite him in and sing his song each year toward the end of our Seders. </p><p><br /></p><p>And I think it’s Eliyahu’s messages that are what we all need most right now. </p><p><br /></p><p>Below are some key lessons on Eliyahu, some brief explanations, and sources and questions for your Seder. </p><p><br /></p><p>The focal verse of our conversation is the one we read last Shabbat. In Malachi 3:23-24 , we are told that Eliayhu will come and return the hearts of parents to children and of children to parents. </p><p><br /></p><p>כג) הִנֵּ֤ה אָנֹכִי֙ שֹׁלֵ֣חַ לָכֶ֔ם אֵ֖ת אֵלִיָּ֣ה הַנָּבִ֑יא …..(כד) וְהֵשִׁ֤יב לֵב־אָבוֹת֙ עַל־בָּנִ֔ים וְלֵ֥ב בָּנִ֖ים עַל־אֲבוֹתָ֑ם </p><p><br /></p><p><u>Lessons, Quotes and Questions for our Universal Lens</u></p><p><br /></p><p>The Ein Yaakov, a compendium of midrashic material from the Talmud, writes:</p><p><br /></p><p>ר' שמעון אומר להשוות את המחלוקת וחכמים אומרים …לעשות שלום בעולם</p><p><br /></p><p>R. Shimon tells us that during this period of Eliyahu’s return, even those holding opposing views will have mutual respect for one another’s ideas. He will come to make peace in the world. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Eliyahu, the sages tell us, will come to help with controversy. His coming will lead to a time where we will be stretched to leave our own echo chambers and also will lead to peace in a time where the world is so broken. </p><p><br /></p><p><i> Questions</i></p><p>What about intergenerational dialogue could lead to more peace in the world?</p><p>How might the ways we are broken by controversy be repaired?</p><p><br /></p><p><u>Lessons, Quotes and Questions for our Personal Lens</u></p><p><br /></p><p>Rashi tells us that the return of the hearts in the verses from Malachi is about an inner return. According to him, in those times, we will do teshuva, מל׳ תשובה. Rashi may be taking this from a verse previously mentioned in the chapter, (3:7) שׁ֤וּבוּ אֵלַי֙ וְאָשׁ֣וּבָה אֲלֵיכֶ֔ם , “return to me and I will return to you.”</p><p><br /></p><p>Eliyahu will help us return–return to our God and also to return to our best essence and to the best we can be. In this way, Eliyah will help us to repent to be the best and most complete people that we can be. </p><p><br /></p><p><i>Questions</i></p><p>How does returning hearts to different generations make us, as individuals, our best selves? </p><p>Can you share an example of a time when you felt more complete in connecting with the older or future generations?</p><p><br /></p><p><u>Lessons, Quotes and Questions for our Family Selves I: Elderly and Young</u></p><p><br /></p><p>Next month at graduations all across the world, people will say, “Our hopes for the future are in your hands.” Parker Palmer, philosopher and teacher wisely says, “It’s unfair to lay all responsibility for the future on the younger generation.” (On the Brink of Everything, p. 37) And he is right. </p><p><br /></p><p>This statement of Eliyahu is about each generation talking, learning and literally bearing their hearts to one another. R. Sadan, in his Haggadah, says that zikna, old age, brings the highest form of wisdom and youth brings a new lens that we cannot duplicate. </p><p><br /></p><p>Palmer says that the key image for the generations is not the baton passing, but the dance that we all have to dance together that will lead to intergenerational harmony and productivity. As he writes, “It is the dance of the spiraling in which the old empower the young with their experience and the young empower the old with new life, reweaving the fabric of the human community as they touch and turn.” (Courage to Teach, p. 26)</p><p><br /></p><p><i>Question</i></p><p>What does the image of dance bring to mind that will help bond the generations?</p><p><br /></p><p><u>Lessons, Quotes and Questions for our Family Selves II: Parents and Children</u></p><p><br /></p><p>Recently, much has been written on the concept of intergenerational divergence, the idea of the dynamic of how parents navigate children who are different and who make different choices than they. The authority and my rebbe with respect to this concept is Anrew Solomon, whose book Far From the Tree changed my lens on this topic when I first read it in 2009. </p><p><br /></p><p>Solomon writes:</p><p><br /></p><p> [P]arenthood consists of two activities. It consists of changing your children and it consists of celebrating your children. And you have to change your children. You have to give them an education. You have to give them moral values. You have to convey whatever is most important and meaningful to you, which may be religion or may be sort of intellectual pursuits or whatever it is you have to convey it.</p><p><br /></p><p>And then you have to also recognize what are the things about your child that are fundamental and that aren’t going to respond to your influence. (You must celebrate that difference) and help your child to feel okay about himself in the ways in which he is different, or she is different from you. And I think that can be terribly, terribly difficult to do.</p><p>Parenting needs to hold both of these truths. We have to both change and, at the same time, celebrate our children. This is a tough balance and it is a lifelong art in every area. </p><p>One such area is in the area of spirituality and religion. Way back in the 12th century, R. Eliezer of Beaugency said that the return of hearts to one another is to have a religious conversation, ללמוד ולשאול חוקי האלוהים. </p><p>And yes, every parent and child needs to have religious conversations, conversations that share the sources of meaning in life. And each one must be done with this balance of love, sharing, changing and celebrating. </p><p><i>Question </i></p><p>Are you willing to share experiences with our generations that have helped shape us and helped us make spiritual sense of the world? </p><p> . </p><p><u>Lessons, Quotes and Questions for our 2022 Selves</u></p><p><br /></p><p>In the Seder, as we finish the Maggid section, we are told that we will sing a shir chadash, a new song. R. Sadan points out that we have to attend the Seder with renewal, with התחדשות. Each year we come to the Seder as different people. It is this התחדשות that keeps the Seder continually vibrant and dynamic.</p><p><br /></p><p><i>Questions </i></p><p>In what ways are you different last year than last? </p><p>How does that influence how you look at the Seder this year?</p><p><br /></p><p><i>Wishing everyone a Passover and a Seder of dialogue, dancing, peace and renewal.</i></p><p><br /></p><p>————————————————————————-</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-74857431952044416242022-03-11T02:55:00.003-08:002022-03-11T02:55:43.934-08:00<p>The Brooks of Esther: Two Important Lessons by David Brooks to Lead into Purim</p><p><br /></p><p>Over the past number of years, I am one of the many who have learned from the wisdom of columnist and author, David Brooks. Two of his pieces in particular helped to complement my learning of the Purim story this year. The first is a graduation charge called “The Great Unmasking” and the second is his book, The Second Mountain . (Sources below)</p><p><i><b>A Message for our (Almost) Unmasked Times in the Holiday of Masks</b></i></p><p>As most schools recently removed mask mandates, the Jewish holiday of masking being upon us is certainly timely. Purim is a story about hiding. Esther, the woman whose name means,”I will hide,” hides her identity to the King. God is hidden as the Divine name does not appear even once in the book. </p><p>And we hide on Purim – we disguise ourselves and mask who we really are. And in the past two years, mask on/mask off is sadly a reality we have all come to know all too well. </p><p>Brooks shared this thought about unmasking that resonates, as each of us, in our own way, irrespective of COVID, wear plenty of masks in our lives. Here are his words. </p><p><i>People wear masks when they feel unsafe, and for more than a year, we were unsafe, and we had to wear masks. But the physical masks we wore were layered on top of all the psychological masks we had put on, out of fear, in the years before Covid.</i></p><p><i>Productivity is a mask. I’m too busy to see you. Essentialism is a mask. I can make all sorts of <span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>assumptions about you based on what racial or ethnic group you are in. Self-doubt is a mask. I don’t show you myself because I’m afraid you won’t like me. Distrust is a mask. I wall myself in because I’m suspicious you’ll hurt me. </i></p><p><i>As we take off the physical masks, it seems important that we take off the psychological masks as well. If there is one thing I’ve learned in life, it is that we have more to fear from our inhibitions than from our vulnerabilities.</i> </p><p>Brooks’ words hold so true. As we finally see each others’ faces, some for the first time in almost 2 years, we are seeing more of their true selves. When we unmask we are able to express ourselves more completely, and to connect to others with our fullest selves. </p><p><br /></p><p><b>Esther Climbs the Second Mountain</b></p><p>In his book <u>The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life</u>, Brooks discusses the two mountains in life that we all must climb to achieve wholeness. To paraphrase: </p><p><br /></p><p>“The goals of this first mountain are the ones our culture endorses: to be a success, to make your mark, to experience personal happiness. But when one gets to the top of that mountain, something happens. They realize: This wasn’t my mountain after all. There’s another, bigger mountain out there that is actually my mountain.</p><p>And so they embark on a new journey. On the second mountain, life moves from self-centered to other-centered..They embrace a life of interdependence, not independence. They surrender to a life of commitment.”</p><p>This is the experience of Esther and the experience of each of us. Esther achieves success in the culture of Persia as she rises to the highest heights. She has climbed the first mountain. She has made her mark in the eyes of her society. </p><p>Yet, Mordechai makes her see the second mountain lesson. In Chapter 4 he tells her that you are part of something bigger. You are interdependent and you are part of the Jewish story. Esther acts to save Am Yisrael, climbing that second mountain, entering that life of commitment. </p><p><br /></p><p>We too, must learn from Esther and from Brooks. While the first mountain is a natural and often essential climb, it is one of independence. It is that realization that we are part of something bigger, the embracing of interdependence, that climbing of the second mountain, that truly makes a lasting and meaningful difference.</p><p>May we find our truest selves in our move toward unmasking and embrace interdependence as we welcome Purim this week.</p><p><br /></p><p>Chag Sameach. </p><p><br /></p><p>Masking reflections<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/27/opinion/coronavirus-masks-vaccine.html"> here.</a></p><p>Second Mountain description <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Second-Mountain-David-Brooks/dp/0812993268/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=FhiFQ&pf_rd_p=bb56b41f-df49-41e1-be0a-6aa8b5f2799c&pf_rd_r=5VYND5GXWW36SFK40WN8&pd_rd_r=834dee34-4e63-4d0d-a239-30d703a74cd7&pd_rd_wg=BP27p&ref_=pd_gw_ci_mcx_mr_hp_atf_m">here. </a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-22020512397333845682022-02-04T06:47:00.003-08:002022-02-04T06:48:26.355-08:00<p> How to Sing our Purim Songs in Adar Alef</p><p><br /></p><p>It’s February. In my family, February is known as the “gut” of the school year. It’s dark, it’s cold and the spring seems far off. For many, finding joy is hard in the doldrums of the February routine. </p><p>Last week, as we were beginning to welcome Adar Alef*, someone started singing about joy. Mi Shenichnas Adar, gets us into the spirit of welcoming Adar, the month of Purim, with happiness and simcha.. “Isn’t it a bit early?”, asked someone in the group. The “real” Adar, is Adar Bet, where we celebrate Purim and truly get into that Purim spirit. This week began Adar Alef and there are no festivities in the offing.</p><p>Is the rule of increasing joy for Adar applicable to both Adars or just for the second one?</p><p>R. Eval Vered insists that both Adars are ones that require us to increase our joy, yet there are two kinds of joy and each corresponds to the different Adars.. </p><p>While some events give us sadness and some give us joy, events are external. Most moments of emotion are passive and stem from moments beyond our control. Joy, according to R. Vered, is something we are used to having as a result of what happens outside of us. This is the type of simcha from Adar Bet–simcha that stems from the celebration of God’s salvation and the joy we feel from connecting to community through the mitzvot of Purim. Joy on the Second Adar is joy of a result. </p><p>Adar Alef is more of a DIY joy — DIY joy comes from within, an internal challenge to each of us. In our day-to-day routines it is not easy to attain happiness. Some of us are more predisposed to internal happiness than others, but the joy of the Adar Alef according to Rabbi Vered is a goal—an emotional destination to which we all should strive. </p><p>As we move toward the second anniversary of our COVID lives, we have all learned many important lessons. Before COVID, we were programmed to look outside of ourselves and outside of our circles for events and activities to “give” us joy. Yet, in the last two years, we have all pulled our family, social and communal circles a bit closer and we have realized the high quality of joy and satisfaction comes from our inner selves and our regular rhythms of life. The DIY joy is just as, if not more, valuable than joy dependent on outside events or peer approvals. </p><p>So, while we will usher in Adar Bet in a few weeks with the joy of Purim, we should all be on the road for the joy from within, the joy from our own blessings, the joy of Adar Alef.</p><p><br /></p><p>*Adar Alef is the first month in the Hebrew leap year.</p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-16327723487846309722022-01-05T16:33:00.006-08:002022-01-05T16:36:03.486-08:00<p>The Gods of Doors and So Much More–Parshat Bo and the Making of the Month of January</p><p><br /></p><p>In his new book, The Week: A History of the Unnatural Rhythms That Made Us Who We Are David Henkin talks about the different ways we count time and how those ways define our identities as both Jews and dwellers in the outside world each and every day.</p><p> We live in 2 worlds when it comes to tracking time. On the one hand, we count time on our Jewish calendar, a calendar which runs primarily by the moon. It helps us pace our lives through the rhythms of the holidays, months, Shabbatot and seasons. </p><p>And there is the way that we count time as members of the modern world using the Gregorian solar calendar. That calendar marks events in our “secular” world like we did just last Friday night when we welcomed 2022. </p><p>And January has its unique feel. The winter doldrums, shorter days and lots of snow and ice are nothing to get so excited about. I often countdown the days until Spring in January. But after learning more about the origin of this month, I am now a huge fan of January.</p><p>January is actually named after a Roman god named Janus. Janus is known as the god of the doors, hovering above as the passage of time takes place from one year to the next. As you can see by the print below, Janus had two faces in order to see both the future and the past. This image reminds us of our need each year to review our past and use the lessons learned going forward. We each have our own kind of two faces like the concept of Janus. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-a577416e-7fff-3360-b240-4a488798aedd"><span style="background-color: #fbf9f9; font-family: Arial; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="border: none; display: inline-block; height: 155px; overflow: hidden; width: 208px;"><img height="107" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/YTlmdJBFXZKdHgkAH3tOi1TghlGYf_KBgX6jr6cKm09r9Z8SupM4_Y5AsXrVvm7UKl04QQH3mXUFIST3cM4FfWJwKKUf30wWb6QEqG1cu6nGoMqoPDkMW7E3VdYee2TpLnbGMHEt=w144-h107" style="margin-left: 0px; margin-top: 0px;" width="144" /></span></span></span></p><p>Doorways also play a large role in our Jewish story. In this week’s parsha, Bo, God tells the Jewish people to identify themselves by their doorways. God says, “take some blood and put it on the two doorposts and the lintels of the houses” .(Exodus 12:7)</p><p>ז) וְלָֽקְחוּ֙ מִן־הַדָּ֔ם וְנָֽתְנ֛וּ עַל־שְׁתֵּ֥י הַמְּזוּזֹ֖ת וְעַל־הַמַּשְׁק֑וֹף עַ֚ל הַבָּ֣תִּ֔ים אֲשֶׁר־יֹאכְל֥וּ אֹת֖וֹ בָּהֶֽם׃</p><p>The word מַּשְׁק֑וֹף also has the same root as the word להשקיף – to look, to observe or to watch. The lintel above the door symbolized God watching over as the Jews moved from slavery to freedom. As Rabbi Sarna writes, “the lintel and doorposts form the demarcation between the sacred Israelite interior and the profane world outside.”</p><p>As modern Jews, we don't always feel a connection between our Jewish and secular lives but the doorways of January and of Hashem protecting our doorways are in perfect sync. They give us perspective to look at our past triumphs and challenges and also look forward to chapters and times of hopeful blessings ahead. </p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-12001530994762359352021-12-01T12:27:00.003-08:002021-12-01T12:30:46.056-08:00<p><b>From Trees to Oil - Parental Hopes and Lessons for Tomorrow</b></p><p>As December arrives and the trees are losing their last leaves, the daf yomi daily page of Talmud, resurfaced for me one of the most famous brachot and stories in all of the Talmud -- one that is about trees that we usually save for Tu B’shvat. (Taanit 5a-6b)</p><p>Rav Naḥman said to Rabbi Yitzḥak: Master, give me a blessing. Rabbi Yitzḥak told him the story of a traveler in the desert. Walking for days, he’s weary and tired, when suddenly he comes upon a tree. He eats from its fruit, rests in the shade and drinks from the small brook at its roots.</p><p>When rising the next day, the traveler turns to the tree to offer thanks: “Ilan, Ilan, bameh avarkheka, Tree oh Tree, how can I bless you? With fruit that gives sustenance? With branches that give shade? With water that quenches thirst? You have all of this!”</p><p>In a tender moment, the traveler looks to the tree and states, “I have only one blessing. May that which comes from you be as beautiful as you are” So it is with you. With what shall I bless you? If I bless you with Torah, if I bless you with wealth, if I bless you with children, you already have all of this. Rather, may it be God’s will that your offspring shall be like you.</p><p>While the story is a beautiful parable of the hopes of us all passing the best on to the next generation, it left me thinking a lot about our prayers and dreams for children. While we bless our friends that their children should reflect their strengths and values, all too often, society and parents make the mistake of wanting their children to “be just like them.”-- wanting to place our growing children in a particular social, familial or personality box. </p><p>The story of Yaakov and his sons that we read over the weeks of Chanukkah are, in some ways, an appropriate antidote to such erroneous thinking. </p><p>Yaakov is the third generation from Avraham. Avraham had two children. The legacy of our nation and the ultimate brachot ended up falling on the shoulders of only one of them, Yitzhak. Although he gets a blessing from God, Yishmael is set aside in the Jewish story. The same for the next generation. Yitzhak had two children -- Yaakov continues our tradition and, for all intents and purposes, Esav is set aside. Yakkov’s family bucks that trend of channeling the central bracha on one child. </p><p>Despite the mistake of favoring one son, of Shimon and Levi’s destruction of Shechem,of Reuven’s sleeping with Yaakov’s concubine and despite Yehuda’s sin with Tamar, somehow, Yaakov keeps the family together. </p><p>At the end of the epic story of love, betrayal and violence, Yaakov, in Parshat Vayechi, while living on his son’s “turf” in Egypt, finds a way to bless each child. Each child has his own blessing based on his true essence and each child remains an inheritor of the Jewish story.</p><p>While Yaakov has forever been clear to his children about his disappointments and pain in the journey of his family, in the end, he keeps the family close, recognizing the uniqueness of each individual. As we deal with the often messy realities of family, we too should take Yaakov’s lesson to heart. </p><p>Oil on Chanukkah reminds us of this value of finding the true nature of the other. R. Eyal Vered writes that oil is the product of the core of the fruit or vegetable whose essence is only found after a long process. </p><p>Additionally, oil, just like each of us, has a dual character. On the one hand, it has a character all its own that it cannot mix with other liquids, but, when combined with foods, it brings out the best in them, producing amazing new flavors. </p><p>Chanukkah’s oil, found in the origin story, in our menorahs and in our foods, reminds us that we each have a unique character. One that, on the one hand, stands strong and, on the other hand, enhances the flavor and personality of our families, our workplaces and our communities. </p><p>So while the tree prayer poetically prays for the continuity of our legacy, it is one that must also be combined with the model of Yaakov and the message of the oil as we work to understand the individuality of our children and also keep them close as part of our story of our family and people’s future.</p><p>Khalil Gibran in his book, The Prophet, put it best when he wrote about children. </p><p> <span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span></p><p>You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts.</p><p> <span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.</p><p>Chag Chanukkah Sameach!</p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4544575854016198040.post-70340514350839202552021-11-14T14:35:00.002-08:002021-11-14T14:35:17.452-08:00<p>The Good of the Good is Deeper than the Happy</p><p>Each and every morning, upon seeing friends, neighbors and colleagues, we wish everyone a Boker Tov, a good day. </p><p><br /></p><p>After each Shabbat we wish everyone a Shavua Tov and after a special occasion, we wish people Mazal Tov. And each year, we wish each person a Shana Tova. The word tov/ ט֛וֹב is a probably one of the first words we all learn when first learning Hebrew. </p><p><br /></p><p>While the word literally means “good,“ upon learning the Shaarei Orah, the 800 year old book by R. Yosef Giqatillah, I realized something deeper and more unique about the word tov that we can bring into our everyday lives. </p><p><br /></p><p>The word tov, is actually the word of God. It appears as something that synthesizes materials or states of being to make them whole.</p><p><br /></p><p>The first example of this synthesis is in Breishit. After many of God’s creations, the word tov appears -- displaying how God took disparate materials and created complete creations from them. </p><p><br /></p><p>Be they physical components, virtual elements or emotional ingredients -- each day, we are given the gifts of the physical world, elements to combine and to create. Being partners in creating through completion is the first meaning of tov-ness. </p><p><br /></p><p>The Shaarei Orah additionally says that true righteous people are also able to be a machria, to link two disparate ideas and concepts and make them work together in the world. We read each morning about R. Yishmael who reminded us about the fact that when two things contradict each other, there often comes a third to synthesize the opposite voices. </p><p><br /></p><p>Each day, we are inundated with ideas that often seem to contradict. Whether they be about our political lives, our religious lives or our personal ones -- as we grow, the world and its messages become more complicated. Part of living the life of tov is harmonizing ideas and voices and making them our own. </p><p><br /></p><p>The ultimate moment of tov is found in Breishit as well. </p><p><br /></p><p>When the first man is created, God says, it is not tov for humans to be alone, לֹא־ט֛וֹב הֱי֥וֹת הָֽאָדָ֖ם לְבַדּ֑וֹ אֶֽעֱשֶׂה־לּ֥וֹ עֵ֖זֶר כְּנֶגְדּֽוֹ (Gen. 2:18)--so God creates a partner so humans can walk hand in hand together. Tov means working as team. It means giving oneself to an other--whether in personal or professional lives. Tov enhances what we give and also allows us to navigate the challenges of life. </p><p><br /></p><p>As Kohelet says, .טוֹבִ֥ים הַשְּׁנַ֖יִם מִן־הָאֶחָ֑ד'Two Are Better Than One, כִּ֣י אִם־יִפֹּ֔לוּ הָאֶחָ֖ד יָקִ֣ים אֶת־חֲבֵר֑וֹ… For If Either Of Them Falls, One Can Help The Other Up' - Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 </p><p><br /></p><p>Yes, during the year, we will wish each other חג שמח - happy holiday, but the word ט֛וֹב goes to another dimension than happy. Tov has great depth--the depth of teaching us how to create, how to synthesize and how to connect each and every day. </p><div><br /></div>Aaron Frankhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13913343745897042890noreply@blogger.com1